Good Day

For two reasons:

1. Dave texted me last night, "Leaving Yankee Game. Thinking of You." Not a big deal to most people but it's poignant because I had directly asked him to do this sometimes a couple weeks ago and he actually listened and is trying. It means a lot to me.

2. I just bought US OPEN tickets!!!!!!!!! I started playing tennis when I was in 2nd grade or something like that...basically have been playing my whole life and it's been my DREAM to attend all of the grand slam tournaments. The US OPEN!!! So excited!!! I got tickets for the Men's Semifinal and the Women's Final. All in one day. Will be a LOOOOONG day but will be so much fun!!!

Great Weekend

Friday night I went out with Jeannie. We've been trying to go out and get to know each other for months now. We went to a couple places and had a few drinks and good conversation. I want her to be my new friend :) She's great (Thanks, Jess if you're reading this).

Saturday I slept ridiculously late then went to see "Waitress" which I thought was cute. Then on my street there was a great flea market. I love my neighborhood! There was some really good jewelry. I was good and only bought $10 in bracelets.

Dave came over later and we went to Snack for dinner and had a great meal. He looked so cute in this thin, yellow sweater. When he smiles I just melt because he has those perfect crow's feet. Love it.

So good conversation at dinner and then we went to our tapas/wine bar, Ostia, for some more wine. I drank one extra glass than I should have. He's a bad influence on me. Then we came back to my place and had good sex. He didn't have to work on the deck during the day so he had some energy :)

Also, Dave mentioned that the Monday after Mother's Day his dad came into work and said, "So, what does Stacey do for a living?" Dave said, "What? You didn't ask her?" His dad said, "No, I didn't want to be nosy." So then Dave's mom came into the city on Wednesday and did the same thing. Asked Dave, "So where's Stacey from?" Dave said, "Why don't you ask her the next time you see her." His mom said, "Well, I didn't want to be nosy." I feel SO MUCH BETTER about his parents!!! They're on the one extreme end of almost being rude in their effort to not be "nosy" whereas MY mom is on the other end of the spectrum and is almost rude by how many questions she DOES ask. Anyway...glad they're actually interested in who I am.

This morning Dave and I went to Bubby's. Love that place. Although Dave said, "Let's go to Googie's." I said, "Huh. Never heard of it." Then we walk to Tribeca and I see Bubby's and I say, "I love that place" and he got the cute, confused look on his face that he gets when he's...well...confused and said, "Oh! That's where we're going." I love that he has airhead moments. Makes me feel okay about mine.

After breakfast we walked around SoHo and then he dropped me off because he had to go to work. It was a perfect date.

I took a nap and then went to Central Park to take some pictures. It's tough to find a creative way to take pictures of Bethesda Fountain but I think I did it. Then I sat in the grass and called my mom and spoke with her for awhile. Then I bought a hot dog and by the time I got to the next cart I was already done eating it so I bought an Oreo ice cream popsicle. Yummmmmyyyy....

I decided to walk all the way home to walk off the food and it started raining right at the Empire State Building. So I waiting it out underneath the awning and then made it home. I love walking home down 5th Avenue from the park. It's such a fun walk.

I love this city!!!

Met the parents

I met Dave's parents this past weekend. He had invited me during the week but wasn't sure if he was going to be able to go because of work. Then mid-day Saturday he said he was definitely going up and "I was welcome to come."

I HATE that phrase! Do you want me to come or not? I just ignored it and said I'd like to come. So I had about 30 minutes to get myself ready and packed because we were going to his friend Mike's in Connecticut for his 35th birthday BBQ and I was going to spend the night at Dave's and then we were driving up to his parents house the next day.

Saturday night was fun. I had never been to CT. So now I have. Dave and I got too drunk and spent the night there. No sex of course. I need to have a talk with him about that at some point. I know he needs the release from his stressful job/life but every once in awhile I need him to scale down a couple drinks so we can actually BE together.

An ex-girlfriend of his was there (Mike didn't give him a head's up so he didn't know she was going to be there) and she was cuter, skinnier and tanner than me. I didn't know that she and Dave used to date and I remember meeting her and thinking, "Ugh, she's cuter, skinnier and tanner than me." I always size myself up to every other girl whenever I go out. So of course Dave used to date her, but whatever. He said she's a pill popper so that made me feel better :) And they weren't serious or anything. And it then made sense why she was kind of cold to me when I first met her. Of course 5 glasses of sangria took care of that and she finally talked to me at the end of the night.

Dave woke me up at 7am and said, "Let's go! We can drive up to my parents and have breakfast." I was like, "Ummmm, I thought we were having dinner there?" I was hungover and tired but pushed through.

On the way up there Dave was chatting and not paying attention and passed the exit he needed. Instead of doing what most people do which is TURN AROUND...he decided to keep going because "there's gotta be a cut across at some point."

Weeeellllll, there's not. At one point he saw the Catskills off to the left and said, "That's not good" because that's where we were supposed to be. We ended up in friggin' Albany. At one point we saw a sign for Montreal. I said, "Babe, I didn't bring my passport." So a 2 1/2 hour drive became a 4 hour drive. We were cracking up.

So we had lunch at this cute place that's next to a small creek. Then we FINALLY arrive at his parent's house. We left at 9:30am and got there at about 2:30pm.

They live in a dreeeeam house in the Catskills. 2 ponds in the front with geese. Huge log cabin style house. Grandma lives in the guest house. They have the biggest stone fireplace I've ever seen. Amazing.

His dad greeted us and he's so sweet! Then we walk into the house and it's reeeeeally quiet. His brother is sleeping on the couch in the lap of some girl that Dave's never met before. So that was strange. We were like, "Who's she?" His mom greeted me and then went back to her chair to watch that stupid Ben Stiller museum movie.

And that was it. Dave's dad talked with me a little bit but not in the "let me get to know this girl that Dave brought to the house" way but rather in a small talk way. I asked him about the house aaaaand that was about it.

After awhile Dave and I went to meet his grandma and give her the flowers he bought for her. Then we walked around the pond and went back in the house.

No one was watching TV and Real Time with Bill Maher came on and Arianna was a panelist. So I sat down and Dave's mom came in the room and said, "I HATE that woman!" I replied sarcastically, "That's my boss." She said, "You're kidding!" and laughed and walked off.

I was expecting SOME sort of follow up question like, "Oh, you work for her? What do you do?" But NO. NOTHING. I thought that was so strange.

We had a really nice meal at a restaurant called The Phoenix. Conversation was more of the same. We had a 10-minute discussion about what spice was in the rolls. No one could figure it out.

"Is it nutmeg?"
"It could be tumeric."
"No, it's not tumeric."
"Allspice?"
"That's cheating."
"I think it's nutmeg."
"Let's ask the waiter."

The whole experience was very informative. I'm so used to my mom who's been compared to a CIA investigator when she meets people. Especially if it's someone her kids bring over for a special dinner. Dave said that it's not because they're not interested but it's because they know that if they start grilling me Dave will throw his hands up and say, "Hey...knock it off!" But still.....not ONE question?

It helped me understand Dave a lot more which will help us in our communications. I hope. Not that it won't still be frustrating when he doesn't respond to something I say but I feel much more comfortable around him now which is huge. We had 6 hours in the car together.

I finally got to see his place this weekend too. It's a tiny house but it's right on the water. SO relaxing. It has a lot of potential. He just has to find the time to carry out his plans for it.

Still haven't had sex with him. It's been 2 weeks & 5 days. Not that I'm counting or anything....

We're making plans for Memorial Day weekend. If the weather holds up we're going to Block Island and staying at an inn and hanging out at Aaron and Beth's house there. That'll be fun! If the weather sucks then we'll just cook out at Dave's place and maybe head to CT again to BBQ with Tim and Dina. Either way I'm looking forward to it. I'll be out of town the 2 weekends after that so it'll be good to have an entire weekend with him.

We're hanging out tomorrow night. Pray for me that I get laid. Probably won't be on the top of your higher power's "to do" list but I gotta at least get in the cue.

This Weekend

I feel good about my new attitude regarding Dave. I want to take a step back and not take "us" so seriously.

Well, then last night he invited me to his parents' place in upstate NY on Sunday for Mother's Day to meet them.

We might not go - all depends on his work schedule - but it's SO HARD for me to keep a casual mindset with him when I'm meeting the parents. I take that seriously. And I assume he doesn't drive every girl he dates 2 1/2 hours up there to meet them. So that action says to me that he sees potential in "us" so all of the bullshit re: him is worth it.

I worked from home today but didn't have much to do. Which meant I ate too much food. Ugh. Am going for margaritas with some people from work tonight. Could be trouble...

The Talk

Dave and I talked Monday night and I don't really feel any better or any worse. Just eh....

I still have absolutely no idea how he feels about me but after reflecting back I didn't really ask him so that's only fair.

He said that he's in no rush to settle down but he's open to it down the road. That's fine with me. But his schedule is never going to change so I only get him about 2 times a week at the most and at least one - if not both times - he's too tired for sex.

The other issue is that I might be a little too sensitive for his harsher communication style. He's got that tough-northern-I-was-in-the-Navy type style and I need a little more coddling than that gives. He never talks about how he feels. Hardly ever compliments me. I just need a little more in that area.

Monday night I said that it would mean the world to me if he could tack an "I miss you" at the end of a text message or an email sometimes and he just stared at me with a grin on his face. I was like, "Ummmmmm, do you think I'm an idiot for asking that or are you thinking this is cute?" So I said, "Okay...moving on."

I'm like...GIVE ME SOMETHING!

My attitude right now is to just go with it for awhile longer. Have fun this spring/summer with him and reevaluate in a couple of months. If he's not excited about me by then then I think that's a sign I need to move on.

So I guess I do feel better now that I have a plan. And I'm also keeping my options open. If I meet a great guy out I might go for an innocent coffee. Can't close the door on anything right now.

Weekend update 5/7

My girls were in town! Got to see R&C Friday night at Alta for a group birthday dinner for R. Had a good time seeing them and getting to know some of their NY friends. Dave busted his ass to get there which meant a lot. And dragged his brother upstairs to meet me which also made me feel good.

Saturday I did brunch and shopping in the West Village with R&C. PERFECT NY Spring Day! Then I went running along the West Side Hwy which felt great. I don't run that much anymore because of my knees but I have to bust out every once in awhile. Elliptigirlies gets so boring.

Saturday night Dave and I were supposed to "talk" and then meet up with R&C. I put myself through fucking HELL because he never freakin' called me back. I met up with R&C and two other girls and had a couple drinks. I so needed that "laugh with the girls" time but I was still preoccupied with why Dave hadn't called me. He never does that.

Sunday around noon he finally calls and says, "Hey...I hung out with my mom and brother and sister last night. How are you?" I was like, "Huh?" Apparently there was a huge miscommunication and he thought we were supposed to have brunch on Sunday because I was hanging out with my friends Saturday night. I told him exactly what I had said Saturday morning and he realized that he fucked up.

So it was all a misunderstanding but my GOD that boy put me through hell that night. I was reeling and overanalyzing. I swear. So then we were supposed to hang out Sunday night and he ended up getting too tired from deck-building so now we're hanging out tonight (Monday).

I can't wait until that damn deck is finished. It's seriously cutting into my sex life.

I had a great conversation with both my sister and dad last night re: relationship stuff. I feel much better about letting Dave know how I feel about a couple of things now. That, along with R&C's support Saturday night, have me rearing to go!

Beta launch for the site is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED! I think this damn thing is actually going to happen!!!!!!!!

Up and Down

I blew up at Dave last night. I don't get enough sex. It's like we've been married 15 years and I'm the man wanting to have more sex. I've been needing to talk with him about where we stand and there never seems to be a good time to bring it up. So my frustration builds up and comes out at the wrong time. I gotta work on that.

I think we'll be fine I just need to verbally hear him say that he sees potential in us and is either falling for me or could see that happening so I'm not putting myself through the bullshit of his complicated life for nothing.

He got to meet two of my girlfriends from LA last night and I was on SUCH a high after that. He even commented on it. But the night went longer than we anticipated and we didn't get home until 12:30am. He had been up since 4:30am. This was the 3rd date in a row where we weren't going to be together. This is so hard for me. Maybe I'm being a brat but I'm falling for this guy and want to be with him. And it's almost worse when he's in bed with me but asleep. So close, yet......

What I love is after I was done yelling at him last night he shushed me and I said, "Don't shush me. It pisses me off" and then he attacked me and we had sex. And it was quick but hot. It was his way of saying, "This is frustrating for me too." I needed to "hear" that one way or another.

How are we supposed to build a relationship together if he's too fuckin' tired all the time? He busts his ass to see me twice a week so I know his heart's into it.

I guess I'll just have to decide if I can deal with the whole package that is "Dave".

And right now I want to.

Weekend update 4/23

I just realized I didn't do a post last Monday. Huh.

My weekend didn't go the way I had planned but ended great. Was supposed to meet up with a friend that was in town from San Fran Friday night but she never called. I was annoyed because I would've gone to the gym but instead I sat around all night waiting for a call that never came. I didn't have her number.

Saturday I went to Park Slope and my friend Hans made brunch for me. Really good fritatta with potatoes. He had a strawberry smoothie waiting for me when I walked in the door. So sweet. We chatted for a long time and then he showed me around the area and we walked through Prospect Park. It was a GORGEOUS weekend so it was really nice.

Then Dave and I were supposed to hang out Saturday night but by 6:30pm I hadn't heard from him which is unlike him. He called then and said that he had to handle some family drama and wouldn't be able to hang out. Which was fine. I just felt bad for him. As if he doesn't have enough to deal with. That guy can take on so much. It's crazy.

Sunday he took me to Da Silvano for lunch. SUCH a good meal! I would only eat vegetable if I could cook them the way that chef did. And I ate ferns. Fern stems that hadn't bloomed yet and were curled up and sitting in butter. Yummmm.

Had a greyhound and planned on only having one more of those and that would be it for alcohol, but noooooo...

Dave ordered a bottle of champagne that we split. That got me buzzed. We walked around SoHo, Little Italy, Chinatown and ended up at the Williamsburg bridge on South Street and walked along the water. It was really nice.

Then we met up with his friend Steve and a girl that was visiting him from out of town. Had 3-4 beers at that bar. Then we went to dinner and had two different wines there. I was drunk.

We had a great time. I was all-consumed with having "the talk" but it never happened and I'm over it. At one point I did bring up with him that I don't want to add any more stress to his already too stressful life and he said, "I just need you to be patient with me when I'm tired sometimes."

That one simple statement wiped out all of my stupid, girly overanalyzation. I was laughing to myself. I thought, "I can do that. No problem."

The only other thing I was wanting to talk about was if he saw potential in us but I know he does just by the way he talks. Eventually I'll need to hear the actual words come out of his mouth but I'm good for now.

NY is SO AMAZING right now! It's the springtime weather I've always heard so much about. Everyone is outside, smiling, looking good, eating at the outdoor cafes. Ahhhh, I'm in heaven right now.

Bad week

I started to freak out about my situation with Dave and had a couple of bad moments with him this week. I snapped at him on Tuesday night at dinner for no reason. Then this weekend we went out Saturday night and actually had a BLAST. Went to this great restaurant, Momofuku, with Pete, Crisi, Aaron & Beth. We got wasted though. Wasted.

Beth was so great to me. She was telling me that they hated his last girlfriend and she knows that Dave's life is really complicated which makes him frustrating to date but she said she wants me to hang in there because they like me so much. Felt so good to hear her say that. I thought it was so sweet.

I was frustrated when Dave and I got back to my place that night because I wanted to be with him so badly but he was too tired to have sex. And - as always - I understand as he spent the day busting through concrete in the ground behind his house to try and rebuild his deck and was up early in the morning and we didn't get home until 3am. But the fact remains that we don't have sex that often and it frustrates me.

So Sunday we went to brunch with Pete and Crisi. I was hungover and proceeded to have 5 drinks. Got drunk. And I can be a bitchy, moody drunk. I started thinking ahead to this summer when Dave's going to be busier than he is now and got really depressed.

In the car on the way home he could tell I was frustrated that he wasn't staying with me that night and said, "It's not like I'm running around getting drunk with friends." I know, I know. Then he apologized for being too tired Saturday night. I told him it's okay but I'm still frustrated. Then I asked him if he's going to be busier this summer than he is now because I need to prepare myself emotionally and he said yes.

I got really quiet. I told him I need a "state of the union" this week and I got pouty and left the whole great weekend on a sour note. I HATE that I did that - I feel really bad - but I was drunk and in my mood.

We've been dating for 2 months and he really could be it for me. I have no idea where his head is though. So I'm equally looking forward to chatting with him this week and also scared to death. One thing that will help us is for me to not get so freakin' wasted. I'll work on that.

What I'm going to tell him is that I understand the amount of pressure he's under and I certainly don't want to add to that. So I'm going to work on my attitude and try not to get pouty and pissy when he can't spend the night. I'm sure I will sometimes but I'm going to work on that part of my personality. But what I need from him is to know if he sees potential in "us" and if he's really hoping I'll hang in there with him. If he does feel that way then the frustration of dealing with his schedule and lack of energy will be worth it.

Because he's worth it. He's fucking amazing. I'm in HEAVEN when I'm with him and he'll be worth the wait.

I'm also going to tell him that what will help me get through the frustrating times is for him to send me a tiny text message that says, "miss you" or something like that. Would make my whole day. Just every once in awhile as a nice surprise. I'm a girl and I need to hear that shit every once in awhile.

Now - will I be able to get through this conversation without crying? Prooooobably not because I'm so fucking sensitive and nervous about it but we'll see.

Weekend update 4/9

Friday night I went to the gym after work then went home and waited for my work friend to call about maybe going out that night. "The Sound of Music" was on TV so I curled up on the couch and howled and yodeled for the next 1 1/2 hours. Work buddy never called but that was a good thing because I was exhausted.

I read "A Movable Feast" on Saturday. Really good book. Loved it. Then went to gym again and then went to see the Will Ferrell movie and it's hysterical! Loved it. Much better than "Anchorman" in my opinion.

Didn't get drinks after the movie...everyone wanted to go home which was fine with me because I wanted to go to church for Easter Sunday for some reason. Haven't been to church since high school (except for weddings/funerals) and I was just in the mood.

So I Googled "Methodist church West Village" and found one on 7th Avenue and went. It was soooo interesting. It's a church that's very liberal and open to everyone which I liked. So there was a good ethnic mix, gays are welcome, etc. Two homeless guys were there and they kept getting up during the service. One obsessively combed his hair the whole time.

They had interpretive dancers, hip hop dancers, 4 different ministers. The Latino minister sounded just like Stimpy from "Ren & Stimpy" so I was having to supress my laughter which works really well in church. He would say something like, "The jjjoy I feel wif Hay-sus in my liiife..." and I would think, "Telllll me a story..." (the famous Stimpy line).

I sang, "Christ is Risen" and other songs who's lyrics I don't agree with. There was a guy playing the electric guitar in bad Santana-style. They had the "meet the person next to you" thing but it lasted 10 minutes and I swear I met everyone in the church. One woman hugged me. Then they had a "if you're a visitor please stand up" moment. Ugh. So I stood up and then they said, "If you feel comfortable please introduce yourself to the congregation."

Aaaaaand I sat down.

The main sermon was pretty good (read: short) and he didn't preach. He admitted that he sometimes has a hard time with the whole "resurrection of the body" part which I thought was interesting.

Anyway...lovely experience. Don't think I'll be going back there anytime soon but I'm glad I did it.

Then I ate brunch at Grey Dog's and got the Times and read about a photo exhibit in the Arts & Leisure section so I decided to go because it was closeby in Chelsea. The pictures were just okay. She's been to some of the same places as me and she literally had one photo that was EXACTLY like one of mine but it's not an interesting picture so I didn't understand why it was included.

They had two floors dedicated to art about the Dalai Lama and I bought a book in the bookstore called "The Quantum and the Lotus" about how physics and Buddhism aren't mutually exclusive. Reason & Faith. I've always been interested in that stuff.

Love how I started the day at a Methodist church and ended it on Buddhism. WTF?

I then proceeded to search 4 different drug stores for Cadbury eggs because I treat myself to a 3-pack every year but they were all out. So I got 2 of the Reece's eggs and then a caramel Cadbury egg. Then later in the day I got a piece of carrot cake.

Can we saaaaaay PMS?

Dave was at his parents all weekend so I didn't get to see him but we're hanging out tomorrow night. Was good to miss him a little bit. Okay a lot. Am dying to see him.

Our website finally has a launch date of May 8th! Yay!!!!!

yay :)

I was a little disappointed earlier this week because Dave hadn't invited me to his parent's place in upstate NY for Easter. I knew he was going up there and not that it's 100% expected at this point that he should invite me but it's pretty close.

Wednesday night we went to dinner at Freeman's (where we had our first date) and he brought it up and said that he wanted to bring me up there but there are so many family members staying at his parent's place that I'd be sleeping on the floor. He's on either the floor or a couch as it is. So that made me feel better :)

We had a great night Wednesday night. Fun conversation where you're sharing funny stories of stupid stuff you did as a kid, etc.

I'm liking him more and more. I feel so safe with him and he makes me laugh and makes me want to be a better person. He treats me so well. He's the most responsible guy I've ever met besides my dad. The safest I've felt in my adult life is when he comes up behind me and holds onto me and puts his chin on my shoulder and kisses my neck. Heaven.

My other favorite thing he does is he'll grab a couple of my fingers and put them to his lips as if my fingers were a pen or something and he's thinking deeply about something. He'll kiss them and just hold them there. I love when he does that.

Please forgive me. I'm in lala land....

Won't get to see him as he's leaving tonight for his parents house but it'll be good to miss each other.

I may go out with a co-worker tonight and then perhaps see a movie tomorrow and then I might go to church on Easter Sunday. We'll see. Depends on if I go out Saturday night. For some reason I'm in the mood to get a speech about being a good person.

Wonder what I'm subconsciously feeling guilty about?

Weekend update 4/3

Dinner with Dave Friday night. Poor boy got up at 4:30am that morning and worked all day and then met me for dinner and we were up until about 1am. I don't know how he does it. His work isn't going to let up anytime soon and if anything is going to get busier which stinks because that means I won't get to see him that much. And when I do I'm getting the last ounce of juice he has in him for the day.

Doesn't make for great sex.

I'm very impatient by nature and am going to try and work on that part of my personality so I don't get too frustrated. He can't help it. He started his company about 3 years ago and has to work his ass off to get it going. PLUS, his dad is his partner so his parent's retirement is tied up in this company too. So he has just a LITTLE bit of pressure on him.

I'm lucky I get to see him at all and am flattered that he pushes himself to ensure we do have time together.

Saturday I slept late then worked out and then met up with my friend Amy for drinks which was fun. A guy came up to her and said, "I've been wanting to talk to you all night. But I'm leaving now." And left. What the fuck? Men....

Sunday I slept until 2:45pm! I guess I was tired from having Dave over Friday night and not sleeping well. I'm getting better at actually catching some zzz's when Dave spends the night but it takes some getting used to.

So I just read the Times and then watched "Planet Earth" and "The Apprentice" and went to bed.

Weekend update 3/26

This weekend wasn't exactly what I thought it would be but it was still a good time. Dave, Pete and I drove to the Asbury Park area in New Jersey to stay at their friend TJ's house for the weekend. It was time for them to bottle what's left of their grenache and all of their pinot noir.

TJ's wife wasn't there until the last night because her mom was sick. So it was just me and the 3 boys. I thought it was going to be a huge group of people. But that's fine with me. I love hanging out with the boys.

Friday night Dave was really stressed and tired. Had a shitty day. So we just had some beer, pizza and the boys smoked pot and we went to bed early.

Saturday morning Pete made us breakfast and we sat around for a few hours and then the guys started sterilizing the wine bottles. I sat and watched/read the paper.

We played ping pong. I forgot how much I like playing. Must get a table whenever I have a house. Then we started siphoning the wine from the big jugs into the wine bottles. I helped with that. They even made labels...had the cork machine...foil wrappers...whole deal. So cute.

They made a GREAT meal Saturday night. Cornish hens that they deep fried...grilled veggies and twice baked potatoes. And tons of wine to drink of course. I swear it's magical wine because it tastes good, gets you drunk but none of us were hungover. FINALLY. The perfect drink.

Kristin - TJ's wife - was able to join us Saturday night. Dave said she's one of his favorite people and I can see why. She's so nice and we really got along. We played darts after dinner while the guys finished bottling the wine.

Then we all stayed up late drinking and talking and listening to music. It was fun but the last hour I was dying to get Dave in bed as the sexual tension had been building all day. I swear I feel like a 17-year old guy sometimes. But I wasn't going to be the one to end the evening. Finally Dave did :)

Sunday morning he made french toast (I'm so spoiled) and then we headed back home.

It's starting to unnerve me a bit that Dave's literally perfect. There's NOTHING wrong with this guy. He knows something about everything. He's so thoughtful. He's funny as hell. His personality reminds me of Ed Burns. The way he and his friends are with each other is a lot like that. Cracks me up. He treats me like a queen.

It may sound stupid but I'm having a hard time accepting it all. He gives SO much and I don't know how to give back. He won't let me pay for things. He can cook; I can't. I'll finish my breakfast and he'll grab my plate and clean it. I'm like, "I can DO it, babe!" This is what I've always wanted and DESERVE and now that I have it I don't know how to deal with it. Ha. Love it.

My Gym

I've finally accepted the fact that I'm going to be in a relationship with Bally's Gym for a really long time. I'm one of the idiots that signed a 3-year contract and then couldn't get out of it in the way they said I'd be able.

I'm sure I could just not pay the bill and have a small blemish on my credit report which really wouldn't matter to me, but I've actually gotten used to going to the gym so it's fine. They win.

What cracks me up are some of the regulars that go there.

You've got your married couple that wear lame-ass matching outfits. They wear those wrestling type jackets so that they'll sweat more. Both sport fanny packs, however I've never seen them access the contents.

You've got the girl that thinks she has a better body than she does so she flashes WAY too much flesh. Just wears a sports bra-type top and low-rider spandex pants so that her massive, pale-skinned gut hangs out.

You've got the tiny Asian chick that weighs about 80 lbs. and therefore can't do more than 5 minutes of cardio or she'll faint.

You've got the girl that can't stick to a machine. This girl drives me nuts. She'll do 10 minutes on one elliptical. Then switch to another one. Then go to the treadmill for 5 minutes. Then back to an elliptical. WTF? Just stay on a machine. They're allllll the same, babe.

You've got the Bally's trainers that don't have any clients because they haven't been able to con any members into paying $2,000 for shitty "customized" training. So they hang out and do breakdancing moves in the middle of the floor.

And lastly, you've got the poor, fat lady that walks for about 10 minutes on the treadmill at 2 mph...sweats up a storm...and then says, "Phew! Damn! I'm done!" Love her. You go girl. Gotta start somewhere.

There's more but I'll stop here. I love people watching at my gym.

Weekend update 3/19

Friday night my work friend, Ramin, invited me to a poetry reading. A friend of his was involved somehow. I was looking forward to it as it would be something different to do but Friday was the wintery day from hell in NYC. It was sleeting ALL DAY LONG. I worked from home that day and just listened to it slamming against my window ALL DAY LONG.

Dave had agreed to go with me - I love how he's up for anything - but by the end of the day I wanted to bail on the poor poetry reading and just go to dinner. It didn't start until 10:30pm which is tough on a Friday night (how fucking old AM I?).

So we officially bailed and went to a great new restaurant called Trestle in Chelsea. Then he spent the night and had to leave at 8am the next morning to get work done so that he'd be able to hang out for St. Patty's Day.

We met up around 4pm and went to Bleecker Street Pub/Bar/whatever the third word is. His sister's boyfriend is the manager there. It was perfect because it wasn't too crowded and we didn't have to pay for many of the beers.

So I got to meet the sister, Sandy, and we got along famously. She's a cool chick. Grew up with brothers so we have the same attitude about how annoying most women are, etc. I caught Dave staring at me a couple of times when Sandy and I would be laughing about something and then we'd just stare at each other for a good 10 seconds and smile. Good times...

So we drank there for a couple hours and then went to a place called Schiller's to get some grub. The place looked familiar but I couldn't place it and then later realized that's where Idiot Notre Dame boy Dan took me after I spent the night at his place this one time. Haha....

After Schiller's (where I had the BEST freakin' cocktail... raspberry/mint/rum/somethingorother) we went back to the bar and it was packed by this point but the Bar Stool Gods were on our side because within 5 minutes the people right in front of us left and we got to sit at the bar. Perrrrrrfect.

Sandy told me that she thinks I look like Mandy Moore. Which was so funny because Dave's girl friends said the same thing to me. Then Dave said he thinks I look like a combination of Ellen Pompeo and Diane Lane. Which cracked me up because I didn't know that he had even thought about it. He doesn't watch TV or movies that much so he doesn't really know anyone. He didn't know who Mandy Moore was.

We kept drinking until about 11:30pm and Dave was about to pass out. Not from being drunk (I swear the boy never gets drunk) but just from being tired from working hard/playing hard.

We went back to my place and just spooned all night because the poor boy was exhausted. Fine with me...

Sunday he didn't have to work so we got brunch at Grey Dog's which for once wasn't crowded (thank you very much, St. Patty's Day hangovers)...ate there and then got the paper and came back to the apartment and read the Times for a few hours. Then we saw "Zodiac" which was good but so fucking long. I had no idea it was going to be that long. Then we grabbed dinner at a really good Greek restaurant across the street from my apartment.

We finally had the chat about ex-girlfriends/boyfriends so I had to come clean about how I basically HAVE no ex-boyfriends. When I was finished I said, "I hope that didn't freak you out" and he said, "No, it's hard to freak me out."

What's weird is that I didn't tell him about Joe but not because I didn't want to but he literally didn't even enter my thoughts. I didn't realize I left him out until I saw an email from a friend of mine this morning. Haven't talked with her in awhile and she asked about Joe. Then I thought, "God, I didn't even tell Dave about him."

Don't know what that says about me...that I can completely forget something like that. Whatever...

From Dave and I's conversation I wasn't quite clear on how ready he is to settle down. We've only been dating for a month so we're so not there yet but if he's the type that's not going to get married until he's 50 then that's something I need to know. He did comment on how he completely understands how women feel their biological clocks ticking and that's why the really start wanting to settle down when they're in their 30's. But I wasn't sure if he was saying he's not ready for that or not.

Whatever...I'm just going with it for now. He and I are going to New Jersey this coming weekend for the latest bottling of the wine that he and his friends make. Should be fun.

Hot Actor Boy Jeffrey Returns...

I feel like Carrie from "Sex & the City" when she was starting to get serious with Berger but was still having occasional phone sex with Big.

I'm getting serious with Dave and I just got an email from Hot Actor Boy Jeffrey that said:

You were in my dream last night. We weren't getting
it on, but we were about to...

So as per our routine, I'm supposed to retort with something sexual. Since our emails are so infrequent I'll probably just send him a "quickie" and then I won't hear from him for a couple months.

Men.

I'm Done

I just had dinner with Dave and.....I'm done. He's the one. I'm in love with him. Signed, sealed, delivered. He's it.

It's nothing specific that I can site, but just an overall feeling. An accumulation of everything he represents. I want to be with him all the time and when I'm not I'm counting the minutes until I will see him again. I just got home and I'm doing it already. Won't see him again until Friday night and I can't wait.

And now I'm freaked out. What if he doesn't feel the same way? That's my initial freakout moment, but I'm good at calming myself the fuck down and realizing that all I can do is be myself and hope that's enough. He might not be at the same place but hopefully he will be someday.

I made sure to mention tonight that it bothered me that he was self-deprecating this past Sunday night when I said I was really excited about us and he said something like, "Eh, be careful. This is me you're talking about."

I said that I wanted to make sure he knew that I thought he's wonderful. That he's great. And he acted like he didn't remember it going down exactly like that (defense mechanism) and accepted my compliment and said that he thinks I'm great as well.

I'm just glowing....

Weekend update 3/12

I can't believe it's March 12th, 2007.

But anyway.

Dave, and I are progressing nicely. I'm SO excited about him! We had a really great weekend. Friday night we ate dinner at a tapas place right near my house. Got into more intimate-type conversation. Instead of dismissively saying, "I have a fucked up sibling" or whatever we actually revealed specifics, etc. He looked so good that night. He came home with me and spent the night and we had our coffee/couch talk in the morning. He told me funny stories about this guy he was partnered with when he was steamfitting (laying pipes). He's met the most interesting people...

Saturday night he had to work so I went to a couple of birthday parties. One for Stevie Nix and then one for my roommate's friend at a bar called Lava Gina. Gotta love it.

Sunday Dave and I had a PERFECT day. Went to the Met and wandered around for a couple hours until they closed. He and I have the same taste in art. And of course he worked on the renovation of the Met so he had some cool stuff to tell me about the building. He so damn interesting I sometimes wonder why he's not bored with me yet.

We're good at holding hands and looking at stuff and then separating and going our own way for awhile and then reconnecting. There would be times that we'd be separated and say I was standing there by myself...he would come up behind me and walk by me, grazing me, hand trailing on my butt and then would just keep walking and we wouldn't even look at each other. Then I'd find him later and do it back to him. So hot!

Then he took me to this great Italian restaurant, Baraonda. We feasted because neither of us had eaten all day. Salad, gnocci, sea bass, tirimisu, great wine (he hasn't picked a bad wine yet). More good conversation.

Then he took me to The Campbell Apartment which is the most amazing bar/lounge I've ever seen in my life. It's in Grand Central Station. It was so romantic and you just feel the history sitting there. More good conversation. Tasted some fun cocktails. He came back to my place again and left this morning. He "slept in" until 6am. The boy has to get up so early for work. Crazy.

At The Campbell Apartment he asked me "what do I think of all this?" After a second I realized he was asking what I thought about he and I. I said I think he's amazing and I haven't been this excited about someone in a long time and then he was self-deprecating and said something like, "Nah, be careful. This is me you're talking about." I wish he hadn't done that. Not the time to be self-deprecating. It's the time to take the damn compliment. I was nervous and didn't pick up on it like I should have so I let it go and basically said that I was having a really good time with him and he said the same.

We're in a great place. Really enjoying each other and are taking it as it comes. Not putting pressure on it. It's so easy with him. No games.

My mom asked me today if I had taken my Match.com profile off yet. I hadn't yet but am going to right now. Sign of faith in he and I...

Not this weekend but next weekend we're driving to south Jersey to spend the weekend with all of his friends because they're bottling the latest wine that they've made. He said it's really fun. They make big meals, drink the wine and just hang out and have fun. It sounds great.

Ahhhhhhhh...this feels so good! To be in a healthy, adult relationship for once. They actually exist people!

Belt loop

Had dinner last night with Dave at my new favorite restaurant, Zoe, in Soho. I went there for Thanksgiving with my parents and we loved it. Have been wanting to go back ever since to see what their regular food is like. SO good!

It was a great night. We needed it. Just the two of us. His omnipresent friends......not present.

Good food, good wine, good conversation. We moved to the bar after we finished our long dinner so that we could soak up every minute we had together before he had to go back to work. As we sat next to each other he put his hand around my waist and he tugged at my belt loop and that small gesture sent shivers throughout my body. He just does it for me.

His company is rebuilding the infrastructure of Macy's Herald Square and all the construction guys are working nights since the store's still open during the day so he has to go there to make sure they're on the ball. We were cursing the fact that he had to go to work.

We're going to hang out again tonight but he doesn't have to go back to work.

Sweeeeeet.... [insert emoticon of devil-ish face]

Crappy Picture of Dave

Here's the picture I had to go on in Dave's match.com profile. Can barely tell what he looks like but it's something...