Correction

I just bought a ticket through Fandango to see "Pursuit of Happyness" and it's actually $1.50 service charge not $1.00.

Fuckers.

Bucket of soda anyone? A barrel of popcorn, perhaps?

At the end of my work day today I decided to go to the movies to see "Notes on a Scandal" which was pretty good but that's not the point of this blog entry.

I knew the ins and outs of all my movie theaters in LA and it's been an adventure getting to know the theaters here. Union Square is where you go to see the big budget movies but you MUST buy tickets on Fandango (and spend an extra $1/ticket) ahead of time because anything good is always sold out. THEN you have to get there at LEAST 30 minutes before the movie starts to get in line outside the theater door if you have any hope of landing a seat that's not in the first row all the way to the right.

But what if you want to buy snacks? Oh, you have to get there even 20 minutes EARLIER to stand in THAT line. The smallest soda size you can buy is of course a "small" but it's a 32 OZ. BUCKET OF SODA for $4.25!!!

What the FUCK?!?!

Who wants to drink a bucket of soda and then sit still for 2 hours? I'm scared to see what the large soda looks like. Maybe they took the old large-sized popcorn barrels they don't need anymore (because that size is just to embarassingly small to sell these days) and used those for the large sodas.

Maybe I'll do "Super Size Me Part 2" and live in the Union Square movie theater for 30 days and only live off of what they sell there. I'll record my slow demise as I become glued to the toilet, be perpetually damp from all my tears representing what life with vegetables used to be like...oh, and I'll be homeless on Day 31 because it'd cost a month's rent to afford the "food" there (I just did the math on a calculator).

So for a Union Square flick I've learned that I have to leave my apartment at least 1 1/2 hours before the show starts to have any chance of a happy experience.

Fuckers.

I was hoping the Angelica theater near work would be better. And it is better in that I didn't have to get there early but those bitches tempt you with the widest assortment of beautiful baked goods I've ever seen in my life. Anything you could possibly want. Cookies, brownies, cakes, pies, danishes, bagels, etc. You name it, they got it. And of course for a low, low price.

Since I actually got my ass out of bed at 6:45am this morning and braved the cold to go to the gym I thought it best not to ruin that effort it took to burn 500 calories by eating a lemon bar. Excuse me...a lemon cinder block. It's seriously that big.

So I go downstairs where they have the regular snacks for people that like it old school. All I wanted was a coke and a small popcorn. I thought I had these NY theaters down pat and was prepared for my bucket of soda and barrel of popcorn but not at Angelica theater.

I was pleasantly surprised when the small-sized soda cup was actually pretty small. Excited, I ordered that and a small popcorn. Total was $3.85! No way! Sweet!

Got the cup (gotta fill it myself though - wouldn't want to put out the teenagers flirting behind the register) but no p'corn. Apparently, they didn't hear me. So it was $3.85 for a 12 oz. cup of soda! You've gotta be fucking KIDDING me! At least Union Square gives me a bucket to play with. There I feel like I'm at least getting something for my money. So much potential really. Wanna go fishing for Sour Patch Kids in my bucket of soda?

I hadn't had dinner so I asked for the popcorn and they tried to charge me $4.75 for a bag that would maaaaaybe contain 5 handfuls. I told them to forget it and acted all annoyed. Muttered to myself as I walked away, "I'll just starve I guess."

The point of this longass blog entry is to teach anyone who actually read this entire thing to buy your can of soda, chips and candy at the convenience store BEFOREHAND. I know the theaters make their money off of the snacks but it's totally out of control.

Hmmmm...now I'm thirsty. Where's my bucket?

Weekend Update

My weekend - as usual - wasn't as productive as I originally planned. Friday night I went to a cool bookstore in my neighborhood and bought a Noam Chomsky book and "In Cold Blood" as I've never read either. Then I ate dinner by myself at Doma - a new cafe I like. Then I just went home as I was exhausted. From what - I have no idea. Probably because I can't sleep. This has been going on for way too long. Need to see a doctor about it. But I digress. I turned my phone off just in case I got any late night calls.

Saturday morning I saw that I had a text from the NY Giants boy I met last weekend. He texted me with his apparent catch phrase, "What's the good word?" I saw that he had texted me at 12:39am the night before. Great. He just wants me to be a booty call. No thanks. I texted him back (as one never knows when a booty call can come in handy) but didn't hear from him the rest of the weekend.

I finally made it to the gym and then went to a friend's bday dinner in Queens and then we went to this club called The Pink Elephant. I wasn't in the mood but I didn't want to spoil the bday party so I went along for the ride. Plus, there was a cute Italian guy that came with us that had been eyeing me thoughout the dinner party - truth be told.

The music was so obnoxious. Just really not good. I met a guy from Israel that was a player but still had a sweet side. We had a nice conversation, he complimented me and then we parted ways. That never happened in LA so it's nice to just have conversations with people at bars and they actually listen to what you're saying. It's a whole new world, really.

Thank god the birthday girl was as tired as I was so I only had to stay until about 2:15am. At one point I literally couldn't even see because all of the lights were flicking on and off right in my face. People were smoking inside even though it's illegal now just to see if they can get away with it. Those are the really cool people. Girls dancing on bars and then making out with ugly guys. I just wasn't in the mood.

I slept until 2:30pm on Sunday. Nice. Hence my "less-productive-than-I-planned" weekend. I went to Century 21 and used a gift certificate from my sister to get a casual black purse. Love getting stuff for free! Then I walked to the movies to see "Pan's Labyrinth" and on the way I passed by this art piece that was about 300 dresser drawers this artist gathered in the from the mess after Hurricane Katrina. It was interesting...at least I saw SOME art this weekend. Had planned to go to a museum on Sunday but slept too late.

Went to Whole Foods to buy some groceries which made me so happy. It may sound stupid but I just haven't been myself so far in 2007. Recovering from the whole "Joe" episode I suppose. Just didn't have the energy or compulsion to take care of myself. Didn't want to work out, clean my room, eat right, etc. But now I have my Whole Foods groceries. Got up early this morning and did Pilates. Made myself breakfast. Feel much better!

And now I'm back at work acting like I have something to do - when I don't.

First snow!!!

It snowed a few times this week! So much fun to see snow!!! I know the novelty will wear off quickly when it all turns to black mush but for now it's still exciting.

So the boy I met Saturday night (the cute one that I like) didn't get in touch with me this week. I read a NY Times article about the NY Giants and how they have a new General Manager so I took it upon myself to use that as an excuse to email him. He emailed right back. I replied...and haven't heard back. I was hoping he'd ask me out for this weekend, but oh well.

Then the guy I hung out with this past Monday night - that I met on The Onion - of course called me on Wednesday to ask me out for this Sunday. He remembered that I wanted to go to some museums and thought I might want to go. So I emailed him back and said that I'm all booked this weekend.

He's literally so nice that's it's unsettling. I swear. I can't deal with people that aren't sarcastic at ALL or at least a little bitter...or something. He's just so smiley and nice. I can't handle it.

I bought two books tonight. Noam Chomsky's "Hegemony or Survival" and Capote's "In Cold Blood." I was embarrassed at work when someone made the statement, "Well, I just assume that everyone that's gone to college has read Chomsky." I had only heard the name but couldn't hold a conversation about him. After doing some research I was SO mortified that I didn't know more about this guy. Stupid college education. So I bought one of his books. And I've just never read "In Cold Blood" so I thought I'd give it a go.

Found a great coffee shop near my apartment - Doma. It has really good food and a great feel to it. I love my little cafes in my neighborhood. I love this city...

I've only been in my apartment for 4 months now (not even) and I'm so ready to live on my own. I have a roommate that could not be more perfect but everytime I hear her keys opening the lock I roll my eyes and sigh. I just want to be by myself when I get home! I want to unwind with wine and something fattening to eat and watch TV - by myself. The only other person I'd want to live with is my roommate from LA, Sarah, but she's still in LA. I'm not going to move anytime soon though. I have to see how my job's going to pan out.

My job is so boring I want to scratch my eyes out. I'm working on a website and it was supposed to launch in January but now it probably won't be until about mid-March. Which means I'll have nothing creative to do - and not much at ALL to do - until then. So two more months of bullshit logistical work.

I'm lucky to have a job and be living in NY, but I've never been one to settle. I'm going to stick it out through the launch and then some to really give it a solid chance. Fingers crossed things change.

Boy adventure this weekend

I had a great weekend.

Went to see "Freedom Writers" on Saturday afternoon which was better than I expected (I wasn't expecting much). Then I was in the mood to meet new boys. So I thought I'd go to Daddy-O's and check it out. I walk in and the only bar stool available was between two different couples on dates. I was like, "uh uh." So I went to Village Tavern next door instead. It was perfect. The NY Giants game was just beginning. I found an empty bar stool right smack in the middle of two groups of men. They were all hitting on me - it was fun. I ended up leaving there with two boys and we went to Joe's pizza for a slice. It was obvious I was getting along with one better than the other - so the other left and the guy that remained - Matt - and I went for one more drink. He's SO cute! We decided to call it a night so he gave me his business card and I left (he negotiates contracts for NY Giants players - very cool). Went straight back to Joe's pizza for another slice (so drunk) and I decide it'd be a good idea to text this cute boy I just met with a message reading, "I'm back at Joe's pizza eating again. Is that bad? This is Stacey..." Lord. So he immediately calls me and says that he can't get a cab and asks if I want to keep hanging out.

So cute. Turns out he was glad I texted him because he thought he fucked it up by not getting my number. So there you go. It's a good thing to be a pig and share that part of yourself with a boy you just met. Who knew? He meets me at the pizza place, eats my crust, and we go to Daddy-O's and now I'M one of the couples there. Haha. We were there until after 4am. I felt bad because I made him buy a drink because my friend said it's really good and we were both like, "Ugh..." It was gross. Whiskey.

We got a little kissy at the end of the night. Then Sunday he texted me saying he had fun (except for the disgusting drink) and I apologized for making him buy it and he said "it was worth it." He's so adorable. AND 27 YEARS OLD. I swear. He said a couple times though, "I swear I'm more mature than a normal 27-year old." We'll see...

On Monday I saw "For Your Consideration". Funny but sad because the characters' desperation is barely exaggerated. Then I met up with my first date from The Onion. He's cute, smart, easy going, such a gentleman, etc. but I'm not attracted to him. Plus, he walked me to my subway station after dinner and he's crippled or something. I entered the restaurant first at the beginning of the date so I didn't see him actually walk. I didn't ask him about it but felt like it was obvious I wasn't asking him about it. Oi. He left me a voicemail tonight asking me to go to a museum this weekend. Of course he calls and the other guy doesn't. I'll go out with him again and hope that he'll be cool with being friends. I have a feeling he has a really great group of friends that I could wiggle my way into.

This weekend was SO what I needed after all this Joe drama/tears. I just emailed Matt because I read in the NY Times today that they have a new general manager and he's black so it's a big deal. I hope he emails back...

The End Of Toronto Joe - Part 2

The next day we're hungover and lay in bed for way too long. But not in the way that I was envisioning where we were snuggling and trying to be with each other as much as possible physically since we wouldn't know when we'd see each other again.

It was more me staring at his back. He reached over to me a couple times but it just wasn't what I pictured. The reality was really starting to not live up to the fantasy. We finally motivate to get food. Conversation is very one-sided (my side).

We decide to head to his hometown for New Year's Eve. The parties in Toronto don't sound fun enough and we'd rather spend the evening with his family and close friends. So we take a train to Welland, ON. I was SO excited about this for two reasons. First, a few months earlier Joe had sent me the most romantic email I'd ever received. It was his vision of what it would be like for him to take a train from Toronto to NY to come and visit me. Second, we had talked/dreamed before about the future possibility of me meeting his family and seeing his hometown and experiencing all that entails. And now it was finally happening!

He was so distant though. It was like I wasn't even there. He just stared out the window of the train the entire 1 1/2 hour ride. I would lean my head on his shoulder and he wouldn't respond in kind. I would ask, "Is this bothering you?" and he'd say, "No" but wouldn't touch my arm or anything to physically say "It's not bothering me."

He had told me before about how much he hated high school. I noticed several slash mark-type scars on his wrist and asked him about it. He said, "Knife marks. I really hated high school." So I hugged him and he didn't hug back. Just sat there.

At first I was surprised by his distance and then frustrated. I didn't understand. I figured he was just so consumed with his poor financial status and the fact that he hasn't made it as a writer/actor/director yet that it was overwhelming him and he couldn't "be" with me. It was pissing me off. I wanted to shake him and say, "I'm HERE! Pay attention to me."

We got off the train and his brother wasn't there yet to pick us up. I tried to ask him if he was alright and he acted like he was totally fine and then looked at me as if something was wrong with me. That frustrated me more.

His brother is an amazing person. So funny and sweet and just as passionate as Joe. We had a great NYE night. It was his brother Kyle, sister Julie, her boyfriend and two friends of theirs. So just 7 of us sitting at their kitchen table in this tiny town called Welland - drinking, laughing and listening to music. No fuss, no muss.

Another reason I was excited to be with Joe for that holiday is that I had never had a true NYE kiss. It was always friends. Never had a boyfriend. So here I am. I'm finally in a relationship and the guy is hardly paying attention to me. So disappointing.

At one point we went around the table and shared what we were thankful for that year and Joe said, "The ONLY thing I'm thankful for this year is my family for helping me get through the Alena situation." Meanwhile, I'm standing right there. This girl that he met that year and said "I love you" to on several occassions. Me - he's not thankful for. I felt so rejected and humiliated.

But still - when it was my turn I said I was thankful for meeting Joe and being able to share my NYE with all of them.

We all get drunk. His parents come home from their party in Niagara Falls. They're so so wonderful. So laid back and caring and fun to be around and non-judgemental. Full of heart. Really great people. They made me feel so welcome. Much more than Joe did.

Everyone's going to bed. Joe whispers in my ear, "I'm going to smoke. Get upstairs and I'll meet you there." I was so desperate for his attention that I was excited at that comment. So I go upstairs, get undressed except for my sexy underwear that I had of course planned to wear that night about 2 weeks prior. He comes in, gets hard....and passes out. I was so pissed. Plus, he passes out in the middle of the bed so I hardly have any room and am a little squished against the wall. I try to push him over and he says, "Relax, we'll do it in the morning."

Gee.....can we? Would I be so lucky? Fuck off! I was so mad at this point.

BUT - in the morning I thought, "This is the last time we're going to have to lie in bed with each other" because I was going to the airport that afternoon. Joe didn't want to have anything to do with me. Sure he kissed me and all but it was only because I was initiating it - and lying on top of him.

He cooked me french toast for breakfast. I hung out with his family. We all had a great time talking. He and his brother gave me a tour of his hometown. I had dreamed of seeing all of the places he had told me about. His high school, places he had worked, etc. But it all seemed so empty because he just wasn't "there."

I said goodbye to his family and we had a long drive to the airport in Toronto. At least an hour drive. I so desperately wanted to ask him what the hell was going on but I didn't. I didn't want to cry in front of him and I knew I would if I brought it up. Instead I continued lavishing him with attention. It was pathetic at this point. I said, "You don't seem as affectionate as you used to be." He just said, "Huh. Really?" Fucker...

He walked me into the airport and stood in line with me. When we had to say goodbye I told him - with hesitation - that I loved him. I said he didn't have to say it back but it was just something that I had been wanting to say to his face for so long. He looked a little taken aback and said, "Luv you too, Stace." But he could've been saying that to a bowl of soup. There was nothing behind it.

I wanted to break down and cry but held it together.

I had to wait at the airport for 5 hours due to delayed flights. It was miserable. I just wanted to get back to NY so I could be in my bed and cry it out.

The day after I got back I emailed him a WAY too complimentary email stating all the reasons I loved him. Since he had asked me the first night I was there and I never got a chance to tell him. I also touched on the fact that he was distant when I was in Toronto.

He didn't reply for a week "due to a computer virus" but when he did he he said that he had never received an email of that magnitude but felt like he needed to tell me that he doesn't think we're meant to be. He was feeling overwhelmed and guilty when I was in Toronto because he could tell, see and feel how I was feeling and he wasn't feeling as strongly and just can't right now since he's still reeling from breaking up with his ex. He doesn't know when or if he'll be ready.

Then he said how great I am and hoped we could be friends.

I immediately replied saying that I felt he should've called me and said that - not emailed me but that it was okay and generally tried to make HIM feel better. That's just my nature.

After absorbing the email for a couple of days and talking with my mom and some friends about it I was so pissed off. Why the FUCK didn't he tell me this stuff BEFORE I came to visit??? He had said, "Luv you too" in a text message a few weeks before the trip so how was I supposed to know what he was feeling? He has no balls. I emailed him an angry email telling him off and I felt so much better.

That was over a week ago and I haven't heard from him thus proving the "he has no balls" theory. A friend of mine said that in her experience men with no money = men with no balls and I have to say that makes sense. Men with money at least have the power that comes along with that and have it to fall back on. It's an ego thing.

I hope Joe and I can be friends. He really is an amazing person. I don't just fall for anyone. But he's just too immature. And broke. And lives in Toronto. And isn't right for me. But I don't regret any of this because I had the time of my life this summer with him and I learned HUGE lessons for myself from this experience.

Now I'm finally moving on....thank God I DID visit him because if I hadn't then the fantasy could've gone on much longer (due to his lack of balls) and it just wasn't healthy.

The End Of Toronto Joe - Part 1

There are only a few times I can recall in my life when I was as excited as I was to visit Joe in Toronto for New Year's Eve 2006. This trip was 6 months in the making. We had both talked about it, dreamed about it and it was finally here.

I spent way too much time packing. Trying to envision different scenarios. One requires this type of necklace, this type of underwear, whatever.

I got to the airport and the flight was delayed. Of course. Why does that always happen when you're dying to get somewhere? Finally, we board the plane and then I was nervous, "What if the plane goes down and I don't get to see him?" This thought literally went though my mind. What am I on...crack?

I finally get there and he has a limo pick me up. So sweet! I'm grinning from ear to ear the whole ride to his apartment. I had envisioned the moment when I'd get to see him again a million times and it finally arrived and it...didn't live up to the fantasy of course. We kissed on the cheek and hugged but had to get my luggage out of the trunk and get to his apartment because it was cold outside.

I was a little nervous and I think he was too. I could tell he had already had a drink or two. We sat in his living room and had small talk conversation for awhile. After about 15 minutes he went to refill his drink and asked if I wanted anything. I said, "Well, you haven't even kissed me yet so a kiss would be nice." We kissed and it tasted like alcohol and cigarettes. But was still nice because I'm so attracted to him.

We continue talking for awhile, formulate a plan for the evening and decide to "take a nap." That lasted about 5 seconds and we had sex. It wasn't romantic at all. Just mechanical-I-haven't-seen-you-in-six-months-get-your-ass-over-here sex. We layed there for a little while and then freshened up for dinner.

A friend of his got us reservations at a great spot. Live jazz music and amaaaaaazing food. We had to wait for a really long time for our table but I was in no hurry. We were both smiling so big. So happy to see each other. When we were sitting at our table he made one of his "Joe" comments, "My mouth hurts from smiling so much!" I love how honest he is sometimes. We grabbed each other's hands across the table. I had envisioned that moment happening exactly like that. We chatted up the couple at the table next to us. We had a really great time talking with them. Joe told them about the bar we were going to visit after dinner called Resevoir that has great jazz music. Told them they should go.

We got to resevoir ourselves and see the couple there. Joe can charm/excite anyone on any idea. He and I are getting more and more drunk. We meet up with some friends of his that he works with at the hotel where he valets cars.

Joe gets into his drunk/self-deprecating/intensely complimentary mode. Tells me I'm beautiful every 5 minutes. And every time he says it I feel like he's never said it to another woman. Then he asks, "What could you possibly see in me?" and other versions of that question a few more times. He asked me in the cab as well. I didn't want to talk about it in the cab.

His friends came back to his apartment. We partied some more. Finally they left and Joe and I had sex. He likes it a little rough which excites me.

All in all - a good first day/night.