Men Can Be Gross

Oh yeah. So I'm in the elevator of my hotel at 3am last night/this morning and there were two men in there. They chatted me up for a second. Fine. One gets off. The other one stays on. He tells me he's from Long Island and his name is Solomon. He reaches his floor and says, "Where are we meeting up tomorrow night?"

I hate it when men phrase a question like that. It's not a yes/no answer so you have to give them a longer one. I said, "I have plans." Then he wanted me to come to his room for a glass of wine. I said, "I'll see you around, Solomon, good night."

I felt like such a hooker. I didn't look like one though so why in the HELL would he think I would go back to his room. He was about 50 years old, fat, ugly, etc.

Some men can be so gross.

GREAT Day in Hong Kong!

I had such a great day yesterday! Went to the gym and had a good workout. Then went to IFC Mall (HUGE mall) and got my hair cut by Olivier. He did SUCH a great job. My hair was in desperate need of a haircut so I feel much better. And he costs the same as a haircut in the states so that's good.

I had one of those "life is crazy" moments as this Chinese kid was shampooing my hair. He had the gentlest hands. I thought, "Why am I in Hong Kong and some Chinese kid is washing my hair?" Haha...

So then I walked around town with a big fat smile on my face as my hair looked fabulous. Went up the escalator. It's not just any escalator. It's the longest escalator in the world. Over 2,600 ft. long. It's fabulous. It's SO hilly and humid here that they need it.

I had lunch at Staunton's which is a great place to people watch in Soho. The guy next to me struck up a conversation. His name is Jan (hee hee) and he grew up in Manhattan. Very cool. Not cute for dating but he's been here 2 1/2 years so he probably has some fun friends. We might hang out tonight.

Then I saw a couple apartments. This woman Alice showed them to me and she rocks. She's about 4'5", big bug eyes, sweats more than me, has a huge pot belly that hangs out of her shirt...but she immmeeeeeediately understood what type of apartment I want. Showed me a great one in a building called Prince's Terrace. It's now the apartment to beat. I'm going to see another one today and more on Monday and Tuesday.

For dinner I went back to Staunton's and was annoyed because the hostess seated me at a table behind a wall so I couldn't see anyone. So I pulled out my Economist magazine so as to look intelligent and ate dinner.

There were three people next to me and when I paid my bill they asked me to join them. They were SO much fun. An Aussie guy, a British guy and a Scottish girl. The Aussie and Scottish girl are dating. She's moving here in January. I'm going to make her be my friend because she really cool.

I had a couple drinks with them and then more of their friends came. Three Swedish people, Sara, Stefan and Tina. Sara and Stefan are brother and sister and Stefan is cute! He played hockey for a year at a college in Minnesota. Sara is going to include me in a weekly club called "The 5:01 Club". It's tons of people that get together for happy hour every Friday. They pick a new bar each week. She said they're a really fun group. And she's a really cool person so it should be great.

I was out until 3am. Oy. Now I'm going to grab something to eat and go see an apartment.

I love meeting people from all over the world. It's so interesting. And especially here they all have open and outgoing personalities because no one knows anyone when they move here so we're all in the same boat. And everyone wants to help out the new kid because it makes them feel good.

This is so much fun!

HK - so far, so good...

I arrived safely in HK this past Tuesday and have had a great time so far. I met with Mandy on Wednesday and the only things she needs me to help her with are:

1. Her Christmas List
2. Taking a picture of the family for the Christmas Card
3. Reading travel magazines to stay abreast of the best resorts, hotels, restaurants around the world
4. Helping her with travel coordination
5. Some personal finance stuff

That's it. I'll meet with my cousin, Randy, tomorrow to see what all he needs from me. I'll mostly be working for him. Which is great because my fear that I'd be scheduling Mandy's hair appointments is not coming true. Phew. We'll also work out when I'm moving here. Mandy and I agreed that it'll be easier for me to work for them if I'm in HK. Plus, the more I thought about it the more it'll be frustrating to contantly be going back and forth between NYC and HK. As soon as I feel settled in one place I'll be packing my bags to go to the other. I don't want to live like that. If I'm going to do it...I might as well just commit to HK.

Plus, Mandy has forwarded me links to a couple apartments and they....are...awesome! She's so cool. Understands that I don't want to live where they live - even though it's beautiful - because it's too residential and not near the single/ex-pat nightlife. One apartment building is geared towards men ages 25-45. Besides the obvious benefit of being surrounded by men the apartments have a smaller kitchen (fine), a 42" plasma TV (awesome), a walk-in closet (even better), a terrace with a grill (sweet!) AND a golf driving range and putting green on the roof (SOLD!).

Apparently, I'm a guy.

I've had Remi here which has been a blessing. Although, I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn't live here and will soon be gone and I'll have to make friends. Although, I do have Cameron (friend from LA) which is great. And Mandy's trainer, Joss, who's apparently a cool girl. Haven't met her yet.

And I have a couple other connections too. It's all good. Not worried.

The city is interesting. REALLY dense and hilly. More upscale shopping than any one person should have access to. Remi and I walked through 4 HUGE malls in about 30 minutes yesterday.

I don't really feel that far away. Probably helps that Remi and Cameron are here. But even though there are mostly Asians here there are enough "other people" so it just feels "international with a heavy Asian slant." It's so westernized I feel as though I'm in a different version of NY in a way.

And now for the real reason I'm going to move here...

The Scottish Oatcakes.

No? Haven't heard of them? I pity you.



They smell like shit but are OH SO DELICIOUS in my tummy. And apparently are "Orang-utan Friendly" as their free from Palm Oil.

Good to know.

Annoying Day

So I’m in line at Grey Dogs by myself getting ready to order some breakfast. I’m used to eating by myself. It rarely bothers me, but today…it bothered me.

It was late morning on a Sunday so the place was packed with couples who had just rolled out of bed after no doubt having had sex the night before. I told myself that my Saturday night with my vibrator and then a pillow behind my back was a pretty damn good temporary filler for a man [sigh]. The couple in line behind me were very much in love with each other. Which I think is great. I’m not one of those people that hates happy couples when I’m single. I’m truly happy for them.

But this particular couple was annoying the shit out of me. He would give her a big hug every 60 seconds and when he did he would say something sweet like, “You’re so beautiful” and then she would giggle and then the weight of him hugging her would force her arm to move just enough so that her big ass purse would hit me in the butt.

This happened over…and over…and over…and over again.

With every hit in the ass it was like I was being reminded…

[hit] “I’m single.”
[hit] “I’m single.”
[hit] “I’m single.”

I did the turn-around-and-give-a-annoyed-look move and she finally said “sorry” but proceeded to hit me another 12 times.

Then the host guy who helps you find a table asks me if I’m eating in. I confirm that indeed I am. He says, “Wellll, I’m going to have to put you at that table on the end over there. We don’t usually get singles in here.”

Now he had the best of intentions and was a really sweet guy…and I was feeling a bit sensitive after receiving a barrage of ass taps reminding me of my relationship status…but he shouldn’t have said that.

I wanted to cry but I sucked it up and said, “That’s fine. I’ll sit wherever.”

After ordering, I sat down and just stared at everyone in the place as I forgot to bring something to read.

It took way too long for the food to come out. But it finally did. And I reminded myself that I just happen to be single right now. It won’t be forever.

It’ll just feel like it.

I'm off!

Flying to Hong Kong tomorrow. Mixed feelings. This is a huge opportunity that most people would kill for and I am really excited about it. But I suppose it's the having to leave NYC and not knowing exactly what my job's going to entail that are the big negatives.

Regardless...I'm sure to have some great adventures ahead!

Here we go.......

Hong Kong...yay!

So I had an "I Love NY" day and was feeling bummed to leave it for Hong Kong and then I just got this email from a friend of a friend - a French banker/sailor guy - and I was all of a sudden in a better mood:

Hi Stacey,

Welcome to HK ! Chad had indeed given me a heads-up on your imminent
arrival and my mission here will be to help you settle in, feel at home
and take up residence :-p (I came here for a 12 month project
originally and have been here for 4 1/2 years now). As most of us have,
think you will love it if shown the "real" sides (that visitors usually
don't get to see).

Hong Kong? Eh...

I'm not that excited about Hong Kong. I know I should be but I'm just not. I think I was finally getting into a groove socially in NY and I really love the city so I'm sad I might have to leave it. It's one thing to say, "Suuuure, I'll move to Hong Kong and London" but it's a whole other thing to actually do it.

I'm only going for a month at first and am then coming back to NYC but I have a feeling I'll be moving to Hong Kong soon. I'm basing this on comments my cousin has made in emails about the situation.

It's all good and will be an amazing adventure but I suppose it's all just hitting me today. I LOVE the location of my apartment and will be really sad to give it up. Eh, hopefully I can return after all of this and afford my OWN apartment in the same location.

Maybe part of it too is that I don't want to actually have to....you know....work. Haha. I've been able to get paid to do nothing for the past 9 months and I've gotten used to it. Im such a lazy piece of crap.

I am looking forward to buying a digital SLR camera and taking some great pictures while I'm there. I need new inspiration. I feel like every part of New York has already been photographed 1,000 times.

The Weekend So Far - 9/8/07

God, I was so drunk last night. Got home at friggin' 5am. WHY oh WHY do I feel the need to check AND SEND emails when I'm wasted? And not just personal, but work emails too? Bad, bad, bad habit.

I had fun talking with this guy last night. At the beginning of the night he didn't seem to care at all who I was and that bugged the shit out of me so my goal was to win him over...which I did. Mission accomplished. Just tell me I can't do something or someone doesn't like me and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove you wrong.

I got my karaoke on so about 75 lucky New Yorkers' ears were filled with my amazing smooth-as-silk voice (which is non-existent today because it's apparently not a good idea to have 7 drinks and scream "Be With You" by Mr. Big at the top of your lungs).

I was at the US Open all day today. Gotta love getting 5 hours of drunk sleep...waking up with mascara all over your face and an empty package of swiss cheese on the floor by your bed (I need to hit the grocery store)...sitting in the hot sun all day in the fear-of-heights-inducing "S" row of the 300 section...while wanting to puke up everything you put into your body the night before.

Cheers. Good stuff.

I'm mean...seriously? I haven't learned this lesson yet? I swear to God.

It actually wasn't that bad but it was more fun to exaggerate. It's the Southern girl in me.

I'm playing tennis with my roommate tomorrow. I do this to myself every time I watch a Grand Slam tournament. The pros make it look so easy I think, "This time when I play I'm going to hit the ball really well because I just needed to see how it's done again to refresh my memory." I spend an hour trying to find the one tennis skirt I own so I look like I play all the time...walk onto the court with the confidence of Roger Federer...proceed to hit the ball everywhere except where it's supposed to go...get more and more pissed off at how much I suck...cuss like a sailor...walk off the court with less tennis balls than when I arrived as I most certainly hit one, two or - who am I kidding - all three balls over the fence (Recent reports indicate that some of my miss hits are about to re-enter the Earth's orbit and one from a few years ago was unfortunately just downgraded to the status of "dwarf planet" which was a bummer)...then try to convince myself it's okay that I can't play the way I used to...and go do something I'm still good at. Like, watch TV. Or, make toast.

So that's what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Tidbit from the Wedding

This weekend I was, yet again, a real life reflection of that really super fun phrase, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" as I was a bridesmaid, yet again, in another wedding.

I'm always genuinely excited for these girls when they get engaged and ask me to be a special part of the ceremony. But soon after they tell me they're engaged and want me to be a bridesmaid my smile fades a bit and I proceed to go through some, if not all, of the following thoughts as they're telling me the story of how they got engaged:

"Awww, I'm so excited for her! She seems so happy!"
"When the fuck is it going to be my turn?"
"Whatever. I have a great life. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want."
"When was the last time I had sex?"
"I hope the bridesmaid dresses aren't A-line with a back zipper. I hate those. I have to hold in my gut the whole time."
"This is going to cost me a friggin' fortune. No vacation for me this year."
"I'm not the only single bridesmaid am I? Is there one that's at least bigger than me? I hate being the biggest bridesmaid."
"Will there be anyone to hook up with at the wedding?"
"If I have to suck on a penis straw I'm going to shoot myself."
"Alright, I won't shoot myself but I'll be really pissed."
"I gotta start working out."
"I'm in the mood for some ice cream."
"With sprinkles."

That all runs through my head in about 30 seconds. Then I say, "Your ring is GORRRRGEOUS!" I'm not lying or being insincere when I say that. They're all gorgeous. They're friggin' diamonds. You can't go wrong.

This particular wedding was in Middleburg, VA on Labor Day weekend. We had already gone to Montreal for the Formula 1 race as our bachelor/bachelorette party and incurred the expense of that trip. Now we had to fly to DC, rent a car, drive to Middleburg and get a hotel room for the wedding. I always bitch about the cost and logistical annoyance of these trips but in the end, once I'm there, I have a fabulous time.

Of course it's always more fabulous if there's a guy to hookup with at the wedding. I had met all of the groomsman in Montreal so I knew there were no potentials in that crew, but I was holding onto the minuscule hope that there'd be that one handsome, lonesome stranger that found my charm and hairsprayed up-do irresistible.

No such luck.

Oh, there was a lonesome guy there all right. But handsome he was not. He was about 5'3". Poor thing. He too was on the prowl for a wedding hookup and was hitting on me at the rehearsal dinner. Very flattering.......but no thank you. That night I joked about him with my friend who was sharing a hotel room with me (always lookin' for ways to cut the costs). Turns out she hooked up with him a couple times in the past and said he's weird. We joked about how big our bed is, how small he is and how funny the visual would be of this guy joining us.

Cut to the reception.

My friend that's sharing my hotel room is wasted and making out with Shorty McGee at a table in the back. Apparently he's not that weird. After the reception, I return to our hotel room and assume she went to his hotel to get her post-reception groove on. But oh no....she busts into the hotel room, hair looking like she was auditioning for the role of "Medusa," and giggles as she says:

Her: [whispering] "I'm gonna sleep with Joe."
Me: "That's great! You going over to his place?"
Her: [whispering] "No, here."
Me: ".........................Heh?"
Her: [whispering] "We won't do anything in the bed, I swear."

I tell her that this does not make me happy. Meanwhile Shortcake is pacing in the hallway, hands in his pocket, looking down with an "aw shucks" look on his face. I tell him to come in, it's fine. I'm still annoyed though but decide there's nothing I can do about it because I thought everyone was asleep and I have nowhere else to go. There are no cabs in this town, or street lights, so I can't kick the guy to the curb. He can't remember how to get to his hotel.

So there we are. The Happy Threesome. Me, Medusa and Sprout. So naive was I, the night before, as I joked about this exact scenario coming true.

Another bridesmaid knocks on the door, as she wants to return something she had borrowed earlier, sees all of us in the bed and with a what-the-hell-is-going-on-HERE tone asks, "Hey guys...what's......goin' ooooooon???"

I say, "Joe's spending the night! Isn't that fantastic?!"

Luckily, there were some other folks awake so I joined them downstairs in our Bed & Breakfast (in just a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Beer", by the way, as that's all I brought for PJ's) and one girl said I could sleep with her. She was the bastard child that got the tiniest room in the B&B that only had a pull out sofa. Thank God/Allah/Angelina Jolie for her. So instead of sleeping in my comfy, huge bed I was sharing a pull-out sofa while my friend gets it on with Pee Wee the Hook Up King.

At least she got some. If they had just passed out I would've been really pissed.

So I'm REALLY looking forward to my next wedding. It's in March. It's my sister's who's 8 years younger than me. And I'm her maid of honor. I can't wait for the convergence of free booze, my deep-seeded hatred of being single and a photographer capturing every goddamn moment for all time.

P.S. I just ate 2 chocolate bars and want to throw up.

Weekend update 9/4

Leigh's wedding was this weekend. Had a great time. Beautiful scenery. Free food and drink. Didn't get too drunk. No drama. Didn't flub my speech too badly. Caught up with some cool friends. Good stuff.

Leigh looked absolutely beautiful. Will post pictures as soon as I get them developed and get some from everyone who was there.

Everyone at work finally knows I'm leaving and a friend from high school is replacing me and was just officially hired 30 minutes ago. I feel so much better.

Now I get to sit back and wait a couple weeks for the next chapter of my life to begin. Very excited.

Hong Kong it is!