Surprisingly Good Song To Power Walk To

The Song: "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles

Why: Actually, not surprising as much as "Oh yeahhhh, THAT song!" The beat is perfect and since this song was in that movie, "Less Than Zero" it makes me think of druggies which makes me want to be the opposite of that - really in shape - which makes me walk fast.

I just report what goes through my head, people. I can't control it. So if you're thinking, "This chick is nuts!" then you might as well get off the friend bus now because it's only going to get worse the older I get.

Surprisingly Good Song To Power Walk To

Song: "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure

Why: The beat is timed perfectly for power walking and it reminds me of a guy named Jack Volker that I had a crush on in high school. He was a little on the punk side and was into The Cure. So it makes me think of him and how I liked him which makes me think of sex which makes me think about getting skinny so I can attract a boy to have sex with me.

Weekend update 8/27

Saw "Superbad" Friday night. AWESOME! I loved it. Michael Cera can do no wrong. He delivered one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in a movie. If you haven't seen his site www.clarkandmichael.com or the movie you should go now.

Saturday, despite the 92 degrees with 100% humidity, I decided to walk the Brooklyn Bridge. First went to Grey Dogs though for some good eats/energy. THEN walked to the bridge...walked to Brooklyn and back...then walked down to the financial district and sat across from the NYSE people-watching for awhile. Took some pictures. Then walked to the water and up to Battery Park and then up the West Side Hwy back home. Was walking for about 3 hours. I love this city!

Didn't go out Saturday night. Everyone is at their "house on Fire Island" and I didn't feel like it as I went out Wednesday and Thursday night with Bob Fisher (old friend from LA).

Had fun with Bob while he was in town though. Took me to Pearl Oyster Bar for the lobster rolls which I think are overrated. I'm becoming a food snob but I suppose that's what great NY restaurants will do to you.

Sunday I got the NY Times and had brunch at the counter at Balthazar. Had never eaten there before. GREAT French Toast. There was the proverbial, talkative, old, drunk guy sitting next to me. Drank a martini and then a beer. I made it clear that I was REALLY into my article about how China's falling apart by never letting my eyes deviate from the page. The second I was done with the article and put it down he leaned over and said, "I'm from Chicago." I thought, "Here we go. But maybe he'll be one of those cool old guys that once had drinks with Sinatra or something."

No such luck. He had a lot of nothing interesting to say and I felt bad because I had to make him repeat everything because I have horrible hearing and that place was loud. He was nice though.

Anyway...that was about it but it was another "I'm trying to appreciate all that NYC has to offer in case I have to leave" weekend.

My Aunt Cindi is in town this week because my cousin Kayla is going to a liberal arts school in the city. So we're all going to Artisinal tomorrow night. YUMMMMMMY!

To An Email Forwarder

Dear [email of offender],

We at [your email address] have enjoyed receiving email forwards from your account over the years, however we wish to make you aware of an important fact. Your use of the formerly popular "click forward and send" method of delivery results in the deletion of up to 90% of your emails.

We wish to continue our long-standing relationship so in that spirit, and in the spirit of technological progress, we’d like to suggest an alternate method of delivery. You see, by simply cutting and pasting the "meat" of your email and distributing that part - and only that part – to your friends and family you will save them years of frustration to come (alternately, if it’s a video/photo file please save the video to your desktop and then simply attach the file to your email).

Your stubborn insistence at using the "click forward and send" method - although admittedly much easier - infuriates us as we are forced to either (1) use a variety of computer troubleshooting tricks (along with magic and a strong belief in miracles) to find the point of your email, or (2) scroll through innumerable headers which list email accounts of recipients past (we admit it is an interesting look into the Six Degrees of Separation Theory, however the process severely dilutes our interest in your email while simultaneously chips away at our soul).

Now [your email address] does not shy away from a good challenge. Nay, we dare say the opposite is true. But enough is enough. A July 2007 study on the effects of receiving emails from your account concluded that we now suffer from the following ailments: deeper frown lines, loss of appetite, sleep deprivation, perfuse sweating, illicit drug use, vertigo, mysteriously bloody knuckles and a growing pile of broken laptops accruing on the ground outside our window.

It is therefore [your email address]’s request that you take time to reflect on the frustration you have caused not only [your email address] but tens, if not hundreds, of other accounts. It is our hope that after said reflection you will arrive at the only rational conclusion: Immediately ceasing and desisting the "click forward and send" method (aka "the way of the lazyass") and ease the suffering of countless email accounts while simultaneously catapulting your positive standing amongst the email community.

Your attention to this urgent matter will be much appreciated.

Respectfully Yours,
VP Sanity Protection
[your email address]

Nicknames

It's after 1am and I can't sleep. Why can't I sleep? Because my brain never shuts the fuck off. Tonight, instead of sleeping, it was thinking about how I have to give everyone a nickname so that when I describe that person to my roommate or my mom or someone who hasn't met most of these people...he/she knows who I'm talking about.

So then my brain started going through the list of all the nicknames I've given friends and I thought I would type it out. Oh, it won't help me sleep. No, no, silly. But at least my brain will be tired of this subject and move on to something else.

I'm tired of typing the phrase "my brain" so I think I shall give it a name.....how about....Robin Williams? Just for now until I think of something better. Or, Coked-Up Robin Williams? That's it. I shall call my brain Coked-Up Robin Williams. Think of how annoying that guy was in his hay day...and that's what my brain is like.

Luckily, no one I might have a shot with romantically will read this blog post because me suspects I just killed it right there. Having my name mentally attached to the image of a coked-up Robin Williams = no love for me.

That hairy back...[shudder]

Anyway...the fact that it is indeed after 1am will serve as my excuse for why anyone may have been left off the list. And none of these nicknames are meant to perfectly describe anyone. They're a means to an end. I say the name...the listener of my story now knows who I'm talking about...sound speed...aaaaaaaand ACTION.

Roommate From LA Sarah
My 2 Good Girl Friends From LA Remi & Carrie
Little Sister in Florida Kathryn
Girl I Stayed With in Brooklyn Amy
Asshole Ex-Boyfriend Dave
Toronto Joe
Adria the Model
My Friend That's Getting Married Leigh
Hot Actor Boy Jeffrey
My Old Boss Paul
Yoga Dan
Crazy Editor Girl Daley
Old Work Buddy Ramin
Bad Actor Guy I Lived With in LA Bruno
Lori Who Married Eric and Who Had That Wedding in Atlanta
Bob The Guy Who's Apartment I Always Stayed in When I Visited NY
Rich Cousin Randy
Guy I Had a Date with When I Went Home Over July 4th Chase
The Girl Managing the Blog With Me Alex
Bitter Guy at Work Gabe
My Boss in LA Roy
Navy Pilot Brett
Jake Who Hung Out With Julio and All of Us in High School
That Guy Who Owns Every Website Known To Man Mr. Diller
The Jenn That's Living in Atlanta but I Knew Her From UGA and LA
The Jenn That's Sometimes a Lesbian and Sometimes Not
My Friend Jessica Who I Know Through Leigh and White Water
My New Friend Jeannie
My New Friend Jeannine Not the Jeannie Girl but the Other One

Since I'm on the subject of nicknames I feel I must type out the list of the people from my LA Crew. I spent a LOT of my time with these guys and they have the BEST nicknames:

Chip
Skids
Charlie
Fuf (pronounced "foof")
D-Gus
RV
Clancy
Cam
Poisonella
Halloran
Ham
Ham (yes, there were two)
Tsubo
Probst
Kersey
Ayshe (pronounced "eye-shuh")
Mav
Chad & Macrae

That's it. It's 1:38am. Buh-byeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... WAIT! I forgot...oh, fuck it.

In Case Anyone's In NYC on Sept. 8th

Below is an email I just sent to friends in NYC. Thought I'd paste it here on the off-chance someone's in NYC on Sept. 8th and wants to go with me.

Hey guys,

I got all excited when my company's discount ticket program emailed me a couple months back about U.S. Open tickets. And in that excited haze, I bought tickets to 2 different sessions without doing any research or apparently, rational thinking.

So I'm now stuck with nosebleed seats for Saturday, Sept. 8th but I still want to go as this is a lifelong dream of mine having grown up chasing the little yellow fuzzies and all. I have two tickets for the 1st session at 11am (Woman's Finals) and two tickets for the 2nd session at 7pm (Men's Semi-Finals).

Tickets are $80 each. So if you want to go all day with me it'll cost you $160. BUUUUT as an added FREE bonus you'll also receive 12 continuous hours of my *sparkling* personality! That's an additional $5 value just for you...absolutely free! [echo effect...free, free, free) What a DEAL! Right?! Am I RIGHT?! I'll even throw in a hot dog and a coke for the first 2 takers. [sighhhhh]

These will no doubt be great matches to watch....on TV. You see, my roommate (a former pro tennis player) has informed me that it's exciting to be there but myself and the sucker I get to walk up 1,536 stairs with me to our shitty seats will surely need binoculars.

Can I sell, or can I sell? Huh? WHO'S WITH ME?!?!?! Don't wait! Call now! Operators are standing by (okay, it's me sitting at my computer in my X-Large "I Heart Guiness" T-shirt I got for free on St. Patty's Day...eating a Weight Watchers popsicle...well, my third popsicle...but, they're WEIGHT Watchers so they don't count...shut up).

Your serve,
Stacey

Weekend update 8/19

I had a great NYC weekend.

The weather was AMAZING!!! In the 70's and no humidity. I couldn't believe it. It was a great reminder that Fall's right around the corner. Put me in the best mood.

Friday night I went to a capoeira class. "A what?" you ask? Yeah, a CAPOEIRA class. It's a Brazilian martial art. I really enjoyed it for two reasons:

(1) It was the best workout I've ever had, and
(2) My teacher is pretty much the best looking specimen of a man I've EVER SEEN

And for that matter, everyone in the class is beautiful too. I've always known Brazilians and Argentinians are hot but I've never been to those countries so I didn't really get it until now.

Plus, there's a great jiu jitsu studio and I also saw guys wrestling as well which means....

I'VE FINALLY FOUND WHERE TO MEET MEN!!!! I'VE SOLVED THE MYSTERY!!!

Fuckin' capoeira/jiu jitsu/wrestling studios. Who'd've thunk it? And what's great about the capoeira class is that it's such a tough workout that everyone in the class bonds over how much their asses just got kicked so their all friends. I met 3/4ths of the people in the class. They're all so nice!

I haven't been this sore since the marathon. I could barely walk today. And I don't mean up and down stairs. Oh, that hurts like a bitch but I could barely walk in a straight line down the street.

So that was Friday night. Saturday I hung around the apartment then saw, "Becoming Jane" which was cute. Went jogging to try and squelch the Hot-Brazilian-Capoeira Pain I was experiencing. Didn't fucking work. I stayed home Saturday night and watched a HORRIBLE Lifetime movie (is there any other kind?) about a girl who was tired of her friends pressuring her to get married so she decided to marry herself. "I Me Wed" is what it was called. I think some marketing chick named Tiffany came up with that cute-almost-as-punny-as-sex-and-the-city title. Tiffany probably got promoted from Director to VP for that one.

Sunday I fixed a great breakfast. Went to the Richard Serra exhibit at the MoMA. AMAZING! I loved it! Also got lost in the other sections of the museum. Played eye-fuck with some cute guy that was probably 10 years younger than me - alriiiiiight, alright - 15 years. Took some pictures at the museum which felt really good. Haven't taken pictures in a long time.

I bought the NY Times and started reading about the real estate market as I gotta start boning up on what to invest in. Getting excited about my new job!

Then I went to see a great documentary, "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters". GO SEE THIS MOVIE! It's only 87 minutes long and I - along with the rest of the audience - laughed my ass off and clapped at the end. It's about this guy Billy who has held the World Record score in Donkey Kong since 1982 and about the guy that challenged him. You're rooting for one of these guys like you root for "Rocky". SO, so good!

I tried to go see "Superbad" too but it was sold out. So I came home and decided to type this up.

The site's soft launch begins tomorrow. Ugh...

I'm free!

I just told my boss at the site that I'm leaving and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!

He took it well...much better than I thought he would. TOO good in fact. I wanted him to be a little more upset about my leaving but that's my typical ego going out of control.

I'm just glad the cat's out of the bag. Finally.

The site's more dysfunctional than ever so my leaving is a good decision if I were just basing it on that. Which I'm not. Cuz I'm gonna make tons o' money!

Life is good today :)

A Plan - Finally!

I'm going to start working for my cousin on Monday, Sept. 17th. Am going to go to Hong Kong after I start for 2-4 weeks to get into the flow of everything. Then I'll come back to NYC and will hopefully be able to continue living here. We'll see.

Now I just have to have the difficult conversation with my current boss about my leaving. I think telling him now will be better so I can say that I'm not leaving for a month. Will soften the blow vs. waiting for 2 more weeks and then giving just 2 weeks notice.

Ugh. Can't wait until this is all over! I want Operation Debt Payoff to commence.

Weekend update 8/13

Friday night I sat at home watching TV because I had to get up early in the morning to catch a train to Fire Island.

Caught the subway to get to Penn Station to get the train to Bayshore to get the shuttle to the ferry stop to get on the boat to Ocean Beach.

$40 later I'm at the beach. Fire Island is really cute. This is definitely the way to live in NYC. Having a share in a house during the summer. It's amazing how important it is to get out of the city on the weekends. Helps you mentally survive the craziness of the city the rest of the year.

My roommate is gay so it was me and 6 lesbians. Awesome. They're great ladies but after an entire day and night of talking about "energy" and "praying to the angels" and "feng shui" and "feelings" - I was ready for some men. Just so that the men can talk about sports or something and I could just sit there and not have to talk. But I didn't go to the straight bar. I was too lazy.

When we laid out on the beach my roommate talked the entire fucking time. I wanted to just rest, relax and be QUIET. Girls talk too much.

I was so impressed with the food, man. These lezzies can COOK! We had grilled seabass, asparagus, shrimp, scallops, salad, great wine, cheese, etc. I was in heaven.

My boss from the website called me as I was waiting for my train back to the city to go over things about the site. Didn't have much info for me other than we need to prepare for a launch but the launch could still not happen. He's not making it easy for me to pick a date to leave. It's driving me nuts. I just want to leave. I think he can sense that I'm no longer enthused about the site but he still has no idea that I'm ready to give my 2 weeks notice.

I'm not looking forward to that phone call.

It's only a matter of time though......

I'm Saved

Not to be overly dramatic, but my cousin is saving my life.

He offered me a job yesterday. Here's the details:

Salary - $80k/year + a $20k bonus + benefits (this is almost doubling what I make now)

Location - We're going to try it out for the first 6 weeks or so with me NOT living in Hong Kong. If that goes well, I can live in either NYC or Atlanta. He doesn't care. I'll take extended trips every now and then to Hong Kong when needed. He pays for the flights and I get the miles. If he decides that he needs me to move then I'll go.

Hong Kong - If I move there he'll pay all my expenses (rent, utilities, etc.)

Time Commitment - None. I can quit whenever I want. No hard feelings.

Job duties - Travel arrangements for he and his family. Some financial stuff for his family. Coordinating their big move to London next year. Other small things here and there. That's it. He said, "So you'll have free time to do your photography or whatever you want to do."

London - They're moving there this time next year. He's going to fly me out there a couple times so I can get a feel for what it's like and see if I want to live there. If I do move there he'll pay for my rent and utilities there as well. So even though London is so expensive I'll actually be able to have a life there. A good one.

Start Date - He's flexible.

I'm finding out by the beginning of next week if the site I'm working for is launching on August 20th. If it is then I'm going to stay there for the 1st 2 weeks of the launch to help them work out any kinks and see what the work load is like. If it's a lot of work and I wouldn't be able to do both jobs at the same time then I'll give them my notice 2 weeks after launch.

If the site doesn't take up that much time I'm going to talk with Randy to see if he minds me working at both places for another month or two so I can pay off some debt. I suspect he won't like that though because part of the appeal of hiring me is that I can go to Hong Kong for a month on a moment's notice. If I have another job that's no longer the case. But it won't hurt to ask.

Job Growth Potential - Randy said, "If you do some studying and if you're interested, I'll give you say, $20 million, and ask you to invest it. We'll see how you do. If you do well then I'll give you $200 million to invest and we'll keep going."

I said, "[Siiiiiiiiiilence] Huh. Interesting.
I thought, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

I majored in Finance and although I don't remember ANYTHING from my major at least the aptitude is there. Since I won't be working too hard for him I'll have plenty of free time to read all the finance/business trades and get up to speed with that world. And I'll actually find that section of the paper interesting now that I have a vested interest. Not sure what my cut of that will be but whatever it is I'll take it.

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW I COULD CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO DOES THIS HAPPEN TO? WHAT BAD THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME TO BALANCE IT OUT?

Maybe I'll be all alone in life, but you know what? I'll be rich and I can sleep with a big fat wad of Benjamin's next to me. I'll even give them their own pillow.

So I'll start working for him in mid-September...try it out for awhile and if I don't have to move to Hong Kong then I'll decide if it's worth it to stay in NYC and pay rent or if I should just go ahead and move home to Atlanta and pay off my debt that much sooner by living with Mom & Dad.

I have $23k of debt and I could pay that off in 6 months if I didn't have rent. Maybe I could live at home for awhile and when I get bored move to Hong Kong. Since Randy will pay for my rent there I might as well have the adventure. Travel to places in Asia I haven't been yet.

I don't know what I would've done without this job offer. I've been looking for months for something else but haven't found anything that would pay me well enough. And this site bores the shit out of me even though it would be a dream job for someone else. I just don't care about it. So the thought of working there for a long time depressed the hell out of me.

My dream is to actually do a good job with the investing and make some money so my dad doesn't have to sell office furniture anymore and can go ahead and retire. He just told me yesterday that he's probably going to have to work for another 10 years before he's financially ready. Hopefully I can work hard and shorten that to 3 years for him.

THEN I'll buy a pair of shoes for myself.

LIFE IS GOOD!

And yes...if I ever leave this job I'll be asking my friends if any of them want it :)

Master Cleanse - Day 4

There will be no more cleansing. OHHHH, no. I'm all clean now. Need food.

I was supposed to just have OJ today and then have soup for dinner. I had OJ until about 3pm and it's not like I was even hungry but I just MISSED food.

So I went to Whole Foods and spent about $150 on groceries. Had to buy a lemon zester and a garlic press which added about $35 to the total. But still. I went a little nuts.

But I had soup for lunch and I made myself the BEST dinner.

Thanks to Martha Stewart's website I made a papaya-mango-pineapple salsa...put that on my salmon. Then I made a zucchini orzo salad. SO YUMMY!!!

And now my gut is sticking out so far I look 4 months pregnant, but I don't care.

HELLO, FOOD!!! I'M BACK!!!

Try the zucchini side dish...so good! Recipe is on Martha's site.









A good side effect of not eating is that I'm all about cooking now instead of eating crap. I want each meal to be amazing. We'll see how long that lasts...

These posts have been so boring recently. The only real thing I have going on is with my cousin (that sounds bad). He said that I wouldn't have to move to Hong Kong at first so I can stay in NY and just take extended trips to Hong Kong. If he decided that he needed me there I'd have to move but at least I wouldn't have to go just yet. I'm not DYING to live there for a whole year. That's a long time. Then, when he moves to London he said it'd probably be best if I were there with them but we can play it by ear. Would be amazing to be able to stay in NY and travel back and forth between Hong Kong and here and then London and here. That's ideal! He'll pay for the flights and I'll get the frequent flyer miles!!!

I'm still waiting to have the money conversation with him. He's checking with his company about the money and benefits as I would be hired into the company as his Executive Assistant.

Meanwhile, the site's supposed to launch in 2 weeks. We'll see....

Master Cleanse - Day 3

Today's battle was tough. I ran out of ammo and had to call for reinforcements. I almost lost ground today but I persevered and plan on winning this WAR! My war against HUNGER.

Today's the last day of the lemonade/pepper shit. Tomorrow all I can have is OJ. No food. Then Friday I drink OJ all day and can fiiiiiinally have vegetable soup Friday night!

I'm so sick of drinking citrus-y drinks.

Who's idea was this anyway? I can't wait to eat a big salad on Sunday. Until then this'll be me: