Beijing

I'm back from Beijing. I had a great time although by the 6th day I was definitely ready to come home. Got to sightsee at all the major places: Tianamen Square, Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Great Wall, hutong villages, etc.

Things I Like About Beijing:
Very clean
Lots of parks
Lots of tree-lined streets
Good restaurants
Pedicab through hutong villages
People wanting to take my picture like I was a celebrity

Things I Don't Like About Beijing:
Nasty hole-in-the-ground public bathrooms
Spitting (actually, hocking up a loogie and then spitting)
Rude, pushy people
Nobody speaks English (Although why should they? They're in China.)
Street names don't match the ones on the maps

I'm still working on my photos. I overloaded my Picasa and am having to use two computers to put together my slideshow. If anybody in LA likes dim sum you MUST go to Din Tai Fung! I went to this restaurant in Beijing and it's REALLY good. NY Times voted one of the top 10 restaurants in the world. The only U.S. location is in LA. You have to get the dumplings with soup inside. They melt in your mouth! Fried rice is good too. There's one here in HK in Kowloon so I'm going again tonight!

On another note: I've been eating whatever I want and not working out for the past month. It's been fucking fantastic but now I'm finally seeing the results of my gluttony. And after watching my friend Brigitte compete (and win her age group) in an Ironman race and be around all those athletes...I'm ready to shape up. As SOON as my friend Tommy leaves HK. He's in town and we're going out tonight. Then, starting tomorrow (seriously!) I'm all about the healthy-health-health.

Favorite Picture of Beijing - Day One

Beijing

I'm heading to Haikou tomorrow and then Beijing after that. I'll be back next Saturday. Hopefully with a few good pictures and a couple interesting stories. Probably won't be as saucy/sexy/sassy as in trips past as I'm tagging along with my cousin's family on this trip.

So I'll make them up.

Yumi The New Japanese Buddy

Saturday I slept until noon barely waking up in time to shower and meet Yumi at Stanley Market. Yumi is friends with Yuko. Yuko is a secretary in Tokyo that I hung out with when I was there for our company's Christmas party.

Yumi is in HK for business for a few months and Yuko thought we could get together. I let out a loud ass sigh when I read her email but remembered that Yuko spoke the best English out of all the secretaries so I thought it might not be TOO bad.

I was PLEASANTLY surprised! Yumi is really cool and speaks perfect English. She's atypical of the traditional Japanese woman so she's much more independent-minded which I like. I can relate to her more. I need my girlfriends to have some balls.

So now I have a new friend for a few months! I had plans to go to dinner with Cameron, his date and another couple in Lamma Island so I invited her to join us. You know...so I'd have a date too.

Restaurant was very casual...the seafood is alive until 2 minutes before you eat it so that shit is FRESH. We had to use several tools to crack open the various crustaceans we ordered which I hate because I always demolish the insides and have nothing to eat by the time I get to it. But I made exclamations of "Yummmmm" and "SO gooood!" and just ate enough fried rice to fill my stomach.

Didn't have much to talk about with Cameron's friends as they were another western guy/asian girl couple and the asian girl didn't speak much english. She and Cameron's date would prattle on in Filippino.

After dinner Yumi and I hit the same two bars I went to the night before. I wanted to make sure to establish a connection with the #1 bartender in Asia guy, Jackie, as that's someone I want remembering me. They play cheesy 70's Kung Fu movies on the wall.














Plus, I was looking pretty good and wanted to get my flirt on to make up for the debacle the night before. And I wanted to show off my top I got in Vietnam because it was the first time I was wearing it.















Jackie made us amazing drinks again. I got SMASHED and insisted we go to the only dance club I know where I proceeded to text WAY too many people (this is where I argue technological advances are NOT a good thing for society...and by society I mean me).

1 - I texted my roommate from NY because there was a chick there that looked just like her (it was true).

2 - I texted a guy from NY who I thought was going to be my boyfriend when I lived there but quickly realized he wasn't as there was a guy there that looked just like him (sort of true).

3 - I texted Matt the Brit because the first night I met him we went to the same dance club (we proceeded to text flirt for the next 2 hours - and this is where I argue that technological advances are a GREAT thing for society...and by society I mean my ego and/or vagina).

I gave my business card to a random guy who I'm not interested in which is a bummer because I now have to screen calls on my HK phone. I had a clean slate until Saturday night. Fudge.

I finally left (NO idea what time) for the hike home. See below.


















That's just one section out of four I have to scale to get to my apartment.

Here's a security guy I pass by on the way home who does a super awesome job.


















I was barely able to hoist my body out of bed around 1:30pm on Sunday and when I did I immediately felt pain in both my feet. My head fell forward - mostly out of curiosity but also because it weighed more than my entire body and my neck had no choice but to give up - and I saw two bloody pinky toes. Uhhh, guess my high heels didn't quite fit? I love how alcohol hides the pain so you can at least dance a little bit and deal with the consequences later.

The shoes are black so there was black shit all over my feet too. My eyes were swollen. I had mascara on my nose. The mascara that remained on my eyelashes smooshed them into one big clump o' eyelash. My hair smelled like smoke. There was an empty can of Pringles on my coffee table. An empty bag of M&M's next to it. And lastly, an almost full bottle of water on the floor. My sharp sleuthing determind that I was trying to balance out the wine, liquor, champagne, shooters and beer with.......hydrogenated oil, red #5 and 2 sips of water.

Sweet. Good times.

[SIGH]

Joyce The Philippino Bitch

I was reading "Human Smoke: The Beginnings of World War II, the End of Civilization" on Friday night (What? Yes huh, I WAS!) when I received a call from Cameron wondering if I'd want to meet he and his date out after their dinner. Some other people were likely to join. I thought, "Winston Churchill quotes.......or alcohoooooolllll?"

The promise of a sweet glass of Pinot Grigio and possible flirting with new men was enough to get my rear off the couch and into the shower.

Met them at the first bar which was packed as hell. Cameron was one of many western guy/asian girl couples. Joyce, a Philippino chick (not Cameron's date), started chatting me up. She was a close talker. She would only stare at my nose when she spoke. She had a thick accent. She was annoying.

She learned that I'd be moving to London in July. Her boyfriend has a house there with a spare room. She grabbed my waist and insisted I stay with them so she could show me around town. Reiterated this at least six times while groping a different part of my body each time.

On the way to the second bar she grabs her boyfriend (different body part than mine), points to me and says, "She's going to stay with us in London!" He gives me a "Okaaaayyyy" look.

At the second bar he started chatting with me in order to get to know this strange person who's apparently going to be residing in his spare bedroom. Everyone gets drinks and Joyce is the last one to get hers. Her boyfriend turns to give it to her (it's a beautiful raspberry concoction) and she proceeds to smack it out of his hand and all over ME!

I realized she's a total child and not someone I would ever want to spend time with in London or anywhere else (I learned later that she was mad because he wasn't paying attention to her. And I'M the single one?). But what REALLY pissed me off was that she never looked at me again. Never apologized.

B.I.T.C.H.

Joyce The Bitch is lucky I wasn't wearing something expensive or I would've gotten in her face. Instead, I decided ignoring her would be the best option. Poor Cameron felt really bad and kept apologizing. They all went to meet other friends of theirs at another bar. I remained behind.

I would've gone home since I was now all by myself but I needed one more drink after that debacle and the bartender at this bar, Yun Fu is the #1 bartender is Asia. He makes the most AMAZING drinks! I had one with mango and coffee that was so good (I know...weird combo but trust me). Here's the one he made after Joyce The Bitch left:

My Local Hardware Store

No, this is not a joke.

(I like the little buddha guy hidden in the back. If you're eyes have the energy to scan past all the crap to get there, that is.)

3 Steps or 250 Words

I'm a bit worried that my memory now only lasts for 3 steps. Or 250 words. It goes something like this:

- An idea pops into my head to go get something from another room
- I get out of my chair and walk 3 steps
- I think, "Why did I come in here again?"
- Then I think, "What the hell is wrong with me...maybe if I go back to my chair that'll jog my memory."
- I return to my chair and look at my computer
- This triggers another task that needs to be done and I completely forget about my original task until approximately 2:45am. When I should be sleeping instead.

This same story holds true for the internet. If there's a site I need to go to for a particular purpose I'll open a new browser window. CNN.com is my default page. Inevitably, there will be a new headline on their home page that is intriguing enough to click on to get the full story. I click on it thinking, "Well, I'll just read this first and THEN go to xyz.com".

I read (well, skim) the article and by the end of a mere 250 words I have absolutely no recollection of the original website I was supposed to go to. Until 2:45am.















I'm only 33 years old. This can't be good.

Where's The Love?

I switched from a Hotmail email account to a Gmail account about 2 years ago. Ever since I made the switch I've been slowly trying to reduce the amount of junk mail and newsletters that hit the Hotmail account. I’m tired of weeding through the junk just to make sure that this one friend of mine who simply refuses to change my email address to Gmail in their contacts didn’t send me something.

Because I’ve had my Hotmail account since the beginning of the internet I’ve used it to sign up for anything and everything. And I’ve actually taken the time to unsubscribe from each and every company/person/newsletter that would email me about their local events, movie screenings, volunteer opportunities, once-in-a-lifetime credit card offers, travel deals, new spring skirts, etc.

It’s an educational journey into the history of my moods, phases and interests over the past 10+ years. There’s still this chick in LA that emails me periodically to tell me to come see her at her next live show at XYZ bar because I went to go see her ONCE about 6 years ago at a 20-seat café and used my Hotmail address to sign the guest sheet. I only signed the damn sheet so she’d feel better.

It’s taken quite awhile but I think I’ve finally hit the bottom of the barrel because I checked my Hotmail account yesterday and there were NO NEW EMAILS!

My immediate reaction was bewilderment. “Maybe I logged into the wrong account somehow,” I thought. Then I realized it was indeed MY empty inbox.

I felt so alone and unloved.

I didn’t realize how attached I had become to the junk emails! A classic unhealthy, co-dependent relationship.

I logged in again today to check it again and received two emails. One from Job.com telling someone named Stephen Bunch that they’ve found the perfect sales job for him in South Carolina. Then one from Tagged.com telling me that someone looked at my profile but I need to add a photo to increase my chances of making friends.

I don’t know who Stephen Bunch is or what the hell Tagged.com is but Hallelujah! I’m worthy of being bothered again! Woo hoo!

Chinese People Don't Sweat

The humidity came back to Hong Kong with a vengeance this week which means there's a bit more strategy involved whenever I'm forced to leave my freon-filled apartment. For example, if FedEx is the destination then I make sure to walk on the side of the street with the largest stores because just as I teeter on the glisten-or-sweat tipping point, a luxury watch store will have it's front door open and I get just enough of that sweet A/C (or "Air Con" as the locals refer to it) to keep the sweat bubbles at bay.

However, this barely bearable route isn't always available so what usually happens is my core body temperature shoots into triple digits and the physical reactions begin.

My facial pores confuse the heavy, wet air for the beginnings of a lymphatic drainage facial and I quickly begin to resemble Edward James Olmos. Instead of lavender essential oils and natural plant extracts soothing my pores - it's Sweat. The chemical reaction between my foundation, eye makeup, blush and The Sweat results in a cellular-level clustering so I end up with gigantic, glittery globs on all the wrong parts of my face instead of the nice evened-out look I started out with only moments earlier. What makeup has remained intact is eventually removed when I'm forced to wipe off - The Sweat.

Then, despite my obsessive use of Secret's Clinical Strength Anti-perspirant the pit stains appear. Apparently I'm pro-perspirant. (I didn't realize I was so conservative. They say that happens the older you get though.) Due to my pro-perspirant stance I've never spent more than $25 on a white shirt because it'll be ruined by said pit stains by summer's end (or I will have spilled red wine, spaghetti sauce or black ink on it but that's another issue).

I'll spare you other details of my sweaty escapades (I wish they were as scandalous as that sounds) such as sweat dripping down my back and into my ass crack, hair getting stuck in my arm pits and other such attractive happenings.

I can even handle all of this - no problem - if it weren't for the fact that I'm the ONLY one that's having this reaction. Well, myself and a bunch of Aussie guys.

Chinese people DON'T sweat!

Makes me feel like this:

Billion Place

I had a great time Friday night. Brigitte invited me to dinner with 7 of her girlfriends. We had the entire space to ourselves and the chef was all ours. It was a pretty sweet set up. Here's some pictures.

It was inspiring to meet so many women who have their shit together. The ones I got to know the most all have great jobs. A couple of them (including Brigitte) own their own companies. They're all so cool too. Names like Neveen, Divia, Jade, Helena, etc. They're from all over the world. Cool clothes. Etc.

I wasn't feeling inadequate though because they're down to earth and easy to talk to as well. It was just a great night. It made me wish I was staying in HK for a couple of reasons. First, it's rare to meet women that I am not annoyed by after a couple hours of conversation. Second, I know if I stayed here I'd be able to start my own company doing something where I can import goods from the U.S. or other western countries and sell them to HK companies. Or sell them myself.

One woman I spoke with owns a company where she imports high end beauty products and has expanded to really nice candles, decorative pillows, etc. She sells them to luxury hotels and stuff.

There's just so much opportunity for something like that here but you have to be willing to live in Hong Kong. Eh, I can always come back after I make money in London if I want.

Last night I went to the movies to see "Once" again. It's finally showing here. No one in the audience got up after the movie was over. I think they liked it.

And now it's a beautiful spring day...1:20pm...and I'm typing on the computer. Must go outside!

First Batch of Wedding Photos

Click here for the first batch of photos from Kathryn's "Last Hurrah" night at Suburban Tap...her rehearsal dinner...and the wedding. Professional photos are coming in a couple weeks.

Michael Johns Baby!

He was the clear winner on tonight's Idol. DAMN that boy can sing!!!