Neighbor

I was approaching my building today and was behind my next door neighbor who had just taken her dog out for a walk. To avoid having to ride up in the elevator with her I went into the grocery store, pretended to be interested in the magazines, decided she'd had enough time to get upstairs, then proceeded to go to my building.

I'm so lame but I don't like her and she never says hi to me even though I say hi to her and she smells weird.

On another note, I haven't had sex in seven months. I'm not interested in breaking any records. I've accomplished enough in my life. This has become a problem for me when I meet a guy I actually like. We're supposed to hold off on having sex with them for awhile right? I know there are no absolutes in dating but typically men like a bit of a chase - caveman instincts, yada, yada - but the problem is I'm 33 years old...in the prime of my sexual peak...and I NEED it!

I finally understand what my 18-year-old-football-player boyfriend was talking about back in high school. He wasn't lying!

So when I meet a guy I'm attracted to it's tough for me not to pounce. But I must control myself.

No pouncing. NO pouncing.

In the meantime though... I wish my guy from LA would come visit me. Or my guy from Atlanta. Or at the very least I need to find a London guy to keep me going until a Man comes along....

I've tried Match.com in both LA and NYC. I just joined the London network. Let's see what happens. So far only one guy who's sent a message is remotely cute enough to elicit a response.

Just knowing he's out there though... whatever his real name is... keeps the hope alive.

No pressure of course.

Last night

It was very nice of this guy, Matt, to invite me out with his friends last night. I met him a few weeks ago when I went by myself to watch a UGA football game. He didn't go to the school but was there with a friend of his who did. Ever since then he's texted me a few times here and there wondering if I'd like to grab drinks with some friends of his.

Last night he told me he was going out with his 3 female roommates and others to celebrate someone's birthday. It was perfect because I didn't have any plans. So I took a shower, got ready, spent 20 minutes deciding what outfit to wear then spent $20 on a taxi to get to the bar called 64th & Social.

It was a little TOO social for my taste. I was basically miserable the entire night. I have no desire to get shit-faced anymore (I've determined after 16 years of getting shit-faced that I've had quite enough) and when I arrived they were all just that...shit-faced...and celebrating a girl's birthday by doing body shot after body shot of Petron off of each other's breasts, making out with each other, taking photos, etc. Then Matt turned to me and said, "I'm really just a shy accountant." What I think is that he was probably a bit geeky in school and now he's built up his confidence, made some money and had the great fortune of finding 3 partying women to live with.

Good for him! I just don't feel like participating in that sort of thing anymore (although for the record I've never done a body shot in my life or made out with any of my girlfriends). Plus, the bar was really crowded and their table was right in the middle of the crowd. There was nowhere for me to sit so I stood next to the table getting pushed and shoved for the next 3 hours while I pretended I was fine with it.

Forgetting that supression of emotions never works I eventually shoved a guy in the back. Immediately realizing I crossed the line I smiled at the guy and gave him a "sorry I don't know what I was thinking" look. Luckily, he moved on. This bar brought out a very bad side of me.

We left the bar because we were all getting tired of the crowds which I was very happy about (only the unattractive annoying guys were hitting on me) but we just stood outside for about 45 minutes not making a decision about our next destination. It was so annoying (because I was still sober) but they finally decided to go to the place next door because 2 girls went in there to dance and the thought of going in there and convincing them to leave was too much for everyone to bear so we all gave in and followed them.

The place was totally lame but we stayed anyway. I should've just gone home at that point but I had gotten too many, "Come on, Stacey," "Relax, Stacey" type comments and I had something to prove I suppose.

I'm SO TIRED of people pressuring me to drink. Just leave me alone!!! Just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean you shouldn't go right on ahead. It shouldn't make you have any less of a time just because I'm not participating. And just because I don't feel like dancing to MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch This" doesn't mean I'm lame.

The DJ played "Mr. Brightside" by my beloved Killers so I bopped around and then finally called it a night.

I'm so over the bar scene. It was very nice of Matt to invite me out but I'm so over it. Over it all.

I'm slowly coming back...

...this has been the toughest move! I've been here 3 months and things are just now starting to settle down. Man.

I had a good weekend. Went out with a girl Friday night who took me to the Punchbowl (among other places) but I was too drunk to remember. I didn't eat much but drank much and then puked much when I got home. Horrible! Saturday I was in recovery. Then Sunday I had lunch with my friend Kathryn and some of her friends. To my surprise a guy I know from NYC was there and he's moving here! I'm SO EXCITED because he's a very cool guy and it'll be so nice to have a familiar face.

The rest of Sunday Kathryn and I went to the Rothko exhibit at the Tate Modern then walked along the river taking photos and talked about relationships - or rather our lack of them.

In our mutual groups of friends we're among the last singles standing so we can relate to each others varied emotions about our status' (or is it stati?).

Monday night I went to dinner with her again and another group of her friends. They were SO GREAT because they were so easy to talk with and all of them were people I would hang out with.

One girl walked in and I immediately recognized her. My friend Alex invited me to join that website, A Small World, so I did. And on her page is a girl named Laura who lives in London so Alex emailed her asking if she'd like to get together with me. Alex sent this email on Monday. So Monday night - in walks Laura - and I knew it was her but I waited about 15 minutes before I said, "I know this is going to sound strange but are you on A Small World and do you know Alex in LA?"

Sure enough - it was her!!! I know it's...well...A Small World...but this really was random given that Kathryn has no connection to Alex whatsoever. Crazy.

The NYC guy will be here this weekend then he's headed back to get his things so he can move here. I'm trying too hard to find something cool for us to do so he'll think I'm cool and want to be my friend here. I need to chill...