Up and Down

I blew up at Dave last night. I don't get enough sex. It's like we've been married 15 years and I'm the man wanting to have more sex. I've been needing to talk with him about where we stand and there never seems to be a good time to bring it up. So my frustration builds up and comes out at the wrong time. I gotta work on that.

I think we'll be fine I just need to verbally hear him say that he sees potential in us and is either falling for me or could see that happening so I'm not putting myself through the bullshit of his complicated life for nothing.

He got to meet two of my girlfriends from LA last night and I was on SUCH a high after that. He even commented on it. But the night went longer than we anticipated and we didn't get home until 12:30am. He had been up since 4:30am. This was the 3rd date in a row where we weren't going to be together. This is so hard for me. Maybe I'm being a brat but I'm falling for this guy and want to be with him. And it's almost worse when he's in bed with me but asleep. So close, yet......

What I love is after I was done yelling at him last night he shushed me and I said, "Don't shush me. It pisses me off" and then he attacked me and we had sex. And it was quick but hot. It was his way of saying, "This is frustrating for me too." I needed to "hear" that one way or another.

How are we supposed to build a relationship together if he's too fuckin' tired all the time? He busts his ass to see me twice a week so I know his heart's into it.

I guess I'll just have to decide if I can deal with the whole package that is "Dave".

And right now I want to.