HK Story #1

Figured I'd change the title of these blog posts since I'm back in HK now.

So I meet up with the three Canadians - Tony, Mina and Bud - for dinner (Hee hee..."Bud"). We had a GREAT time. About 6 hours long. Went to a Turkish restaurant and ate decent food, sucked a bunch of apple tobacco out of a hookah, etc. Tony sat across from me and everytime our eyes would meet it was very intense. It was hard to look away.

At the end of the night I descended into the subway and thought, "I wonder if he's going to come after me." I sent he and Mina a link to my Vietnam photos and got the following response from Tony (edited to just good parts):

I had a premonition to want to come after you as soon as I was in the hotel, feeling that you were still close by. My regret, not having done so!!!

Strange as it may seem, my feelings for you are incredibly strong, I felt it the first time I made eye contact with you on that first plane ride to Ho Yan. Am I really a fool given our age difference? I've never dated anyone with a wide age gap. What are your feelings? Is it just me? Anyway, I hope to continue communicating with you, of course only if you are comfortable with that.

You seem to be a most beautiful individual!!

With affection,
Tony

The age difference he's referring to?

Yeah.

He's proooobably about 65-years old. I never found out the exact number.

I've NEVER been attracted to a man that old before but there's a first time for everything. Given that I had just had drama with Pascal in Hanoi and a year earlier had long-distance drama with Toronto Joe that dragged on and on...and given the fact that he's...like....OLD....and I want to find a guy to settle down with and maybe have a baby or two...this ain't gonna work.

I replied with a very honest email basically saying that his age and location were big factors and if I thought I could just "have fun" with him then I'd say, "Let's do this." But I know I'd get attached to him as it's a pretty intense connection. And I don't need that heartache. Been there, done that. So I asked that we just remain friends for now but said I definitely wanted to keep in touch.

In the days b/n sending that email to him and his reply my feelings have pretty much dissolved completely. It was a fleeting connection in my mind.

Then I get THIS email from him last night:

My thanks to you for being so candid in your assessment of your feelings. I so wish that I had run to you when we parted and you were there alone on the platform. I would have put my arms around you and held you so tight and laughed together.

I am sorry that your 2 recent relationships have not worked out and you are at a fragile state at this time. Please be secure that I don't make it a desire to ever hurt or injure minds or body. Like you, I don't take my feelings lightly or those of others, It has been very rare, as a matter of fact you are only the second person that I've fallen for with total confidence. When I met you and our eyes made contact it wasn't just a casual encounter, my heart felt it, no words were exchanged.

I believe in destiny, in a Higher Being, in One that is capable of making things happen given circumstances, personal faith and love for mankind. When I was with you, a mere couple of times and in the company of others, I didn't see a 32 year old, after all what is age? I saw a mature intelligent individual that I can have conversations with, be proud to have at my side in any setting, and enjoy the ultimate human experience of the sense of touch in a most delicate, soft and romantic manner where we are both at ease with full confidence that the other cares, loves and their world is totally entwined, to taste, smell and be fulfilled in the other's joys and accomplishments, support failures and ill health. We do live a world apart, take it slow? Meet somewhere in between Atlanta and Toronto? In Europe? I am willing. I understand that you want to settle down. A life fulfilled as prescribed by nature is something we all yearn for, why shouldn't you have it? I support your goals.

This connection is a great gift, for me it transcends age, race, nationality, religious differences and distances. The world is so finite, nothing becomes a barrier. If just friendship is what all this will turn out to be, at least I can say that it is the most special with a sense of purity and dedicated love for the other.

On the other hand, if just some fun is what you'd like to try for now, with someone you'd trust and meet so often, I am open too, I just don't want to end it before we've had a chance to meet again.

I hope I didn't scare you off with my rambling!! For now, I look at your picture with admiration!

With warm feelings,
Tony

Uhhhhh. Wow.

"you are only the second person that I've fallen for with total confidence."

???? Holy shit!

"I hope I didn't scare you off with my rambling!!"

Gee, you think?!

"On the other hand, if just some fun is what you'd like to try for now..."

I said the exact OPPOSITE in my email to him. That that's not what I want.

And I so feel like Carrie Bradshaw right now in the episode where she thinks she's too bitter for romance. That email did nothing but creep me out. Of course, if it were a guy I was really into then maybe it would be different but this guy. No. There was a "connection" and I was very attracted to him but the age thing just stops it cold. Even though he's a good looking guy and looks really damn good for his age. Eh... If he hadn't left the next day I probably would've tried it out but since he's gone I need to say good riddance.

So now I have to write him again and tell this guy that I'm not interested.

HELP!

Oh yeah, and Happy Thanksgiving.