Friday, July 04, 2008

I Showered with a Cockroach


Unfortunately, this blog post's title isn't a cute play on words.

I literally showered with a cockroach today.

Hong Kong's bug of choice is the VERY large cockroach. I've killed about 6 in the past 6 weeks in my apartment. It's so disgusting and it doesn't get any easier the more kills I rack up. And as soon as I feel safe again and think, "Huh. I haven't seen one in awhile. Maybe cockroach season is over?" another one shows up in the weirdest place scaring the shit out of me (my most favorite place was the tray in my washing machine where I pour my detergent).

I spray about 1/2 can of Raid on each one. Not unlike someone with a gun who freaks out and shoots someone 27 times even though 1 or 2 bullets would probably do the trick. I admit that screaming, "DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRR!" is probably a bit dramatic (and not so fun for my old Chinese neighbors) but it's necessary. After he's wiggled his last wiggle I slowly work up the courage to transfer him to a trash can. This takes at least 10-15 minutes. I've determined that using a file folder to pick them up is best as it's thin enough to scoop him up and unlike a wad of papertowels there's absolutely no chance my fingers will have to feel his freshly dead carcass. Plus, that's more "green" of me anyway, right? Why waste 20 papertowels on one cockroach? I'm so dedicated.

The latest fucker to invade my space was in my bathroom sink the other night. I sprayed the Raid but he crawled into a crack in the sink somewhere and I couldn't get to him. Plus, the light bulbs are out in my bathroom so I couldn't see anything.

I hadn't seen him since but everytime I'd go in my bathroom I was watching... waiting...

Then today I go into the shower - which is about 5 feet long by 3 feet wide - and I did a cockroach check before I entered and didn't see him (remember it's dark in there right now).

Then about halfway through my exfoliation phase I looked in the back corner and saw a suspicious, black object! Fucker! He was dead so I guess I got enough Raid on him to cause a slow, agonizing death. Good.

I thought the sanitary thing to do is of course to stop my shower and get rid of him but I was running late for a dinner and since he was in the half of the shower that the water doesn't even reach and I never have to step into (it's a huge shower) I just left him there while I finished showering.

I know this is a totally disgusting story and I have no idea what it says about me that I share these tidbits of my life. But there it is...

I showered with a cockroach today.

P.S. Sorry for the photo but I feel it aids the story in fully illustrating my ordeal.


UPDATE: There was ANOTHER ONE in my shower this morning! And he was alive!!! I'm so over this shit! Get me out of here!

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