Vietnam Story #2

My first night in Hanoi I went to a restaurant near Hoan Kiem Lake called Bobby Chinn's. I happened to walk in behind a group of 5 men in their 50's/60's. They were boisterous and having a good time. The hostess looked at them and me and said, "5?" One of the men said, "Join us! Come on!"

I thought, "What the hell?" and decided to join them. As we were seated at the table I found out that 3 of the men were Vietnam War vets and were visiting Vietnam for the first time since the war. They were shooting a documentary. One of the producers is Edward Tick, PhD who wrote the book "War and the Soul" and is one of the foremost authorities on PTSD.

The man that invited me to join them tells me that the day before he had visited the exact spot where he had been shot down. Said it was quite a heavy experience.

Then the man next to me leans over and says very sweetly that if it's alright with me they might have to ask me to excuse myself because they had reserved that night for the really deep, tough talk about their Vietnam War experience. I couldn't believe how sensitive they were being to MY feelings. I'm just some random girl.

They decided to switch tables to get better shooting angles and I pulled the producers aside and said that I'd feel more comfortable letting them do their thing. I don't need to be involved. This is their time to work through everything and I didn't want to do anything that would impede that progress.

They were so sweet and talked with me for about 5 minutes making sure I was okay about it. They said the one guy that had invited me to join them and kept talking with me was using me as a distraction because he was afraid to really delve in. The wives weren't even allowed that night. I felt so bad for him because I'll never be able to imagine how hard that night was going to be for him. But hopefully equally as therapeutic as well.

Oy. So I went to sit at the bar and that's when I met Pascal and Martin.