Central Park

Yesterday I woke up late. Cleaned the apartment. Then thought what better way to spend a Sunday afternoon in NY then to have a little picnic for myself in Central Park? I had a new book and want to start reading it. Perfect!

So I grabbed my HBO "Band of Brothers" fleece blanket and headed outside. It was hot as HELL. I had no idea it was so muggy out. But, that's okay. I had a little dress on so I'd be good.

I headed to Murray's Cheese shop for some goodies. I got on the train, went all the way up to the park and realized I forgot my book. And of course I only had $1 left on me after buying the stuff at Murray's so I couldn't buy a newspaper or a magazine to read.

Lovely.

[Siggghhhhh]...that's okayyyyy...I'd listen to my iPod and hang out and relax. I was in CENTRAL PARK for Christ's Sake. Life was good!

I found a spot under the shade so it only felt like 90 degrees instead of 95. Laid my blanket out, sat awkwardly in my dress so as not to pull a Britney (all of my shorts were dirty and I didn't have enough cash to get my laundry), and started eating my salad.

I finished eating in about 5 minutes. Huh. Okayyyy, NOW what?

I noticed that my feet are in dire need of a pedicure. Then I noticed an errant hair on my left heel that I must have missed every time I've shaved for the past month because it's about an inch and a half long. That's attractive.

The lady next to me has a baby that likes to cry. Why must babies cry when I'm trying to have a nice, relaxing afternoon in the park?

This is what I wanted:



This is what i got instead:



I remembered that I had my iPod. Aha! I shall defeat your crying baby with a tune from.....Pink? No, not in the mood. Save it for my power walk. How aboooooooout....Ryan Adams? Nice. Very relaxing. Very Central Park-y.

Even though it only took me 5 minutes to eat my salad it was just enough time to attract the flying bugs. There was only one at first so no big deal. But then a couple more came. Then some crawly critters made their way onto my blanket. I started thinking I might put off that whole African Safari idea for like...forever.

So I was sitting alone on my fleece blanket in 90 degree heat...in a dress...so I was sitting with my legs tucked under me...the sweat was dripping in the fold behind my knees...with nothing to read...bugs flying in my face...listening to Ryan Adams as I watch couples in love walk past me hand-in-hand.

Fuck this.

So after a total of about 15 minutes I fold up my blanket and ended the misery that was Central Park on a Sunday afternoon.

Don't you just love New York in the summertime?