Halloween in HK = Bust

Following is my Blackberry camera's account of my Halloween in HK

Here's me wondering why I'm pushing myself to go out by myself, as I hadn't heard from my friend Jan about his party.

















I started walking around and didn't see many people out at the bars. Of course, it was only 9:30pm but still...I thought there'd be more people. I got closer to Lan Qwai Fong and heard the ruckus. I walked down some stairs, peeked over the edge and AHA! THERE THEY ARE!





I decided to head down into the pack of wolves. That is...drunk investment bankers and Chinese people with cameras.

















This kid was hysterical. Was walking around like a zombie and EVERYONE wanted their picture with him.






















This was one other costume. You can't see it in this picture but people were surrounding him and taking pictures of him like he was Elvis and this was the first time anyone's seen him alive.






















I kept walking and started hitting the end of the crowd so I turned around and started to head back. I was seriously disappointed in the ratio of drunk idiots to cool costumes. Must've been 250:1. Besides these two costumes I saw one group of western guys that were dressed up as a greek god, bloody murderer, etc. and they had funnels. So people were lining up to do the funnel and they were superstars.

But that was it. Besides me and about 1,000 girls wearing devil horns.

So I head back:



















And am in bed by 11pm. RIGHT as I put my moisterizer on my friend Jan texted me. Wanted to know where I was in Lan Qwai Fong. I was like, "Ohhhh, it's a bar called 'My Bed'". Oh well, at least he tried. That would be the NORMAL time to text someone about going out on a Saturday night but instead. This is me. Moisterizer and all...




Sorry there weren't more interesting pictures but if you'll kindly note the subject of this blog entry you'll be reminded that I gave you fair warning. I'm glad I ventured out and walked a loop but in the end: Halloween in HK = Bust.

Kowloon

I decided to take a day off from errand running and go see the area of town called Kowloon because I have never been. It's sort of like Brooklyn was 10 years ago in it's relation to NY. Just across the water. Not as many people live there as it's not on cool HK Island. But it's emerging.

I'm in desperate need of either (1) nature or (2) culture. HK is nothing but skyscapers and Prada stores. My area of town is cute and there are tons of restaurants and stuff but it's still all city-ish.

So I go to Kowloon and it's more of the same shit. There was a big park so that was nice but still a lot more concrete then I thought there'd be. I guess you have to really go out further to find the cool hiking, temples, small villages, etc.

Below are some pictures I took in Kowloon. Again, nothing that great artistically but something to look at regardless.

I just got back from dinner with my cousin's family and two of my aunts that are in town. Dinner was at 6pm since they were jetlagged and we had kids so now it's 9pm and I'm about to fall asleep but want to force myself to go out for Halloween.

I heard it's crazy here. The big area where expats hang out, Lan Qwai Fong, is supposed to be so crowded that they have crowd control police forcing pedestrians to go only one way down the street. Sounds like a nightmare but something I should see since I'm here. I don't have a costume. Just bought a headband with red devil horns so I'd have something. I'm waiting for this guy, Jan, to call me. Met him when I first got out here and we've been texting ever since but haven't gotten together. He said he's going to a party and I'm desperately trying to stay awake to see if he's going to go at a decent hour.

I'm such a grandma now. I get up at like 6:45am and want to go to bed at 9pm. I must say though...getting up early in the morning has helped a lot with my stress level. I can get so much accomplished! Who knew :)

Here are the Kowloon pictures:



Could there BE anymore shopping in this freakin' city? I swear...




And then behind me...more shops. But at least this cool statue too.




Get ready for way too many pictures of birds. I found Kowloon park and got a little too excited at the nature.




I love the bill of this duck. (bear with me...)




Flamingos! And not the plastic kind that you stick in your front yard after eating too much seafood at Flamingo Joe's





One more flamingo






















More huge skyscrapers after I emerge from the park.




I saw a sign for a pier so I thought it would be cool to walk to the water. Then I see this building. I don't know what it is but it's HUGE!







So I walk to the pier expecting it to be crowded as hell like everything else here but this is what I see. Two people.





Maybe this has something to do with it? Look at that view....ahhhhhh. So majestic! The beautiful colors, that sea air. Just take a deep breath of th-- [cough, cough, COUGH, COUGH, COUGH, sniff, achoo! sniff, sigh]





I live on that hill behind the skyscrapers. Funny, because when I'm over there I don't see the pollution so I think, "Pollution? What pollution? I don't see any pollu----cough, COUGH, achoo! Why are my allergies so bad here?"





Oooh! More nature!




















Aaaand, back in the city again




At least this block was nice because it's next to the park. Crap on one side and trees on another.

That's it for now. Jan still hasn't texted me and it's 9:21pm. [yaaawwwwwwn] I think I'm just going to walk one loop around Lan Qwai Fong to see costumes and then come home. Then at least I can say I went out for Halloween in Hong Kong. You know, because that matters...always adding to the resume of life.

Chinese Cable

Has anyone out there ever tried to set up their cable with a Chinese woman?

No?

Good. Don't.

Oh My GOD - it's painful. Especially because I've never had to set up broadband cable/internet/fax/phone lines before. I've always moved into people's apartments and it's already been set up. So I'm clueless.

Then I get on the phone with this woman in Hong Kong and they of course do things differently here. And her English was shitty. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about. There are installation fees, contracts, non-commitment contracts, 8MB of some thing, free HBO (I understood THAT), something called Netvigator, something called PCCW Wi-Fi, etc.

I kept trying to tell her I wanted cable TV and she kept saying, "No...we NOW Cable." I was like, "What the FUCK are you talking about?" I finally ascertained that their company is called NOW TV and you have to call it "NOW TV" because their competitor is iCable. So if you say you want cable they think you want the other company's services.

Fuckin' A! I've been stressed with the move of course and this was the straw that broke the back. I literally started crying on the phone with the Chinese cable lady. Not blubbering so that she knew but a few tears came down because I thought, "I can't do this! I'm never going to get cable or internet or a fax line because I can't UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE!"

Finally my cousin said I could enlist the help of the IT guy in Tokyo. He's from India. So he gets on the phone with her and he said, "You weren't kidding. I could barely understand her." That made me feel better.

My apartment is coming together slowly but surely. I'm having a hard time finding a store that sells hair dryers. I run into random road blocks like that. Finally found a place today that sells Toaster Ovens. So now I can toast my bagels and maybe actually cook something.

Oh - here's another gem. In my kitchen I have a 2-top electric stove. There are only 3 buttons for each burner. Should be easy enough to figure out. I'm good with electronic stuff.

Oh no.

I hit every combination possible on that damn thing and it would start to heat and then stop. I just wanted my fucking scrambled eggs. It was 5am as my body clock was still off and I just wanted my EGGS!

So my super for the apt., Eddie, comes over to fix some stuff in the apartment. [sidebar: he was supposed to have the apt. cleaned and have everything fixed by the time I arrived but when I got here - no such luck. The toilet seat had urine all over it, the toilet paper roll was broken, there was a nasty used towel in the bathroom, a ladder in my shower, a huge dead cockroach in my closet, 1/2 the lights didn't work, etc.] I ask him to show me how to use the stovetop and he puts a kettle on there and it works right away. I'm like, "What the fuck? I did the same thing with my frying pan."

I've finally figured it out. It senses the size of the pot/pan when you put it on there and if it's not EXACTLY the right size it shuts itself off. Only my kettle and one pot work. I bought a frying pan for eggs, etc. at IKEA but that doesn't work. And I swear the circumference of that pan is about 2cm different than the kettle. Fucking annoying. So I'm cooking everything in one pot that has no teflon so everything sticks like hell to it.

Then I had Eddie show me how to operate the A/C because the remote control for it is in Chinese. I just kept hitting buttons and had no idea what I was doing. I couldn't shut it off and was freezing my ass off. Haha...

Ahhhh, life abroad. It's all good. At least everyone is super nice here and super patient with me as I get frustrated easily. But that's mostly when I'm stressed. I've calmed down the past couple of days. After my boxes arrived I felt better. Tomorrow my desk/chair/filing cabinet are being delivered and my internet/fax line will be installed. So soon I will finally have a work space and will feel like I can really work at 100%.

The weather is GREAT here. It's not as humid anymore. SO excited about that.

I just joined a gym today. Called Pure Fitness. I desperately needed a workout and feel much better now. It's a really sweet gym. They provide everything. Towels, workout clothes, water bottles, etc. They have tons of DVD's to choose from and you can watch them when you're on the cardio machines. So today I watched a couple episodes of "Weeds". It's mostly expats that go there.

My Aunt Diana and Aunt Cindi are coming here this Friday. So excited. They're really fun. Diana is my cousin Randy's mom. Then next Friday I take off for Vietnam for a week. Am flying to Hanoi...am there for a couple days...then I'm doing an overnight junk cruise in Halong Bay (picture below)
















Then I'm flying to Danang and staying at a resort in Hoi An (picture of my room below)



It's a shame I have this room all to myself. I'm going to do that place up. Relax, massage, shop. Going to be fabulous! I'm getting a huge moving allowance from the company that I wasn't expecting and I just found out that they're paying for 3 business class flights home each year so that's new money I didn't know about. [Sarah, if you're reading this don't worry...I'm being good and am going to pay off my credit cards in no time!]

This is a long ass blog entry so I'll stop here.

Crazy

So I was doing some last-minute packing as my car was coming in about 20 minutes to take me to JFK for my flight to HK. I'm feeling excited, anxious and most of all...nostalgic for all things NY/Entertainment Industry-related as I'm about to leave that part of my life behind.

The TV is on in the background but I'm not paying much attention to it. Then I hear the word "Lovebites" and I run to the TV. "Lovebites" is the micro-series I worked on with Paul in Toronto 2 summers ago.

The girl that's the actress in the new "Lovebites" is being interviewed and they ask her, "Is it true that Paul Reiser is involved in this project?"

I was like, "No WAY!"

How crazy is that? Just as I'm reflecting on the path my life's taken to bring me to this point I'm reminded of the best job I had out in LA.

I love when stuff like that happens.

Shit

I was just reading my friend's blog about how it's tough to have kids in your 40's. I was just thinking about the same thing this week because I was watching Oprah and she had a doctor on that's written a book that has become Oprah's bible when it comes to information about menopause.

The woman said that your body starts changing at age 35-40!!!!!

I'm almost 33!!!!

Shit!!!!

I don't know if I want to have kids. They take so much work and I like to sleep. But I want to at least have the option. And right now I'm at the airport about to fly to Hong Kong where I'm going to be until I'm 33 1/2. There are hardly any white boys there and they're mostly bankers who think they're hot shit because they're in Hong Kong.

Then I'm going to live in London where I don't know many people. I'll get hooked up with friends-of-friends but it takes about a year to get settled in a new city and force yourself into people's lives.

So then I'll be 34 1/2. And then I probably won't like living outside the U.S. so I'll want to move back to NY or something and I'll be 35 by the time that happens.

Right when my body will begin changing.

Not that I'm doing the math or anything.

You never know...I could meet some amazing guy in HK or London and live happily ever after.

WHERE IS HE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Overheard in NY

As I was walking down the street today I heard one of the best lines I've heard in awhile.

A man and a woman were sitting in chairs outside a little shop on Bedford Street.

Woman: "So what are you...Jewish? Catholic?"
Man: "Nahhh...I'm Italian."

Haha!

Sunrise in NY

Since I'm all outta whack time-wise I was up at 5am this morning. Got to see the sunrise in NY. I never thought it was possible to miss a city this much. I LOVE this place! It's cool to walk around the West Village when hardly anyone is awake. What's totally disgusting is I passed by a bar that has all glass windows in the front and they still had trash and drinks sitting on the tables. Ewwwww! Do a lot of bars do this???

I went to Starbucks. Bought a muffin and coffee. I have Starbucks brand coffee already ground for me at home. Bought it at the exact same Starbucks location. My coffee pot is working the last time I checked. But instead, I walked to Starbucks to get coffee. It's sort of legitimate in that I needed something to eat for breakfast so I NEEDED to go to Starbucks for the food. [sigh] So much for avoiding the latte factor.

I bought my first Financial Times. I haven't read it yet. Just bought it. Baby's growin' up. Not sitting in the corner, mind you...just growing up.

I love this picture of a sunrise over the West Village.

Another Cool Thing About Hong Kong is...

...they have bendy straws at every restaurant.

Some HK Photos

These are nothing spectacular. More informative than anything...

















My favorite bar so far. Best people watching spot and laid back people.

















Haven't been here yet but am so happy I have the option. I'm hoping the size -2 Asian chicks working there will inspire me to NOT buy one of their delicious, glazed pastries.




This is the Soho area where I live. Tons of bars, shops and restaurants.

































This is the largest outdoor escalator in the world. You can see the different sections going down the hill.
















I will NOT be hanging my clothes outside to dry. Luckily, I have a washer/dryer in my apartment. But it's all one machine. European apparently.














This is a little store right next to where I live so I'm excited about being able to get my fruit and quickie things easily.



This is the street where I'm going to live. Prince's Terrace. It doesn't look like much in this picture but there are cool galleries on either side and a cute little outdoor cafe there on the left. And since cars can't drive on this street it's really quiet which I love.












My front door

















I'm super close to the escalator. SO nice!


















And of course...never too far away from a Starbucks.

















I just liked this cluster of grafitti








































My neighborhood Blockbuster

















I'll never be able to completely leave LA...

















Was almost going to live on this busy street market. See the "Gage Street Market Lofts" sign in the top? The guy used to live in SoHo in NY and the lofts have exposed brick, etc. Pretty cool but unfurnished which I couldn't do.

















Cool building on Wellington Street



Also on Wellington Street. The menu states that the food is "in and around NY Deli style". Which probably means they'll put seared octopus on rye bread.

















Circle K duuuude! There are tons of Circle K's and 7-11's.



Pottinger Street. I get tired just thinking about going up those stairs. I usually opt for the escalator.












They're VERY into Halloween here. So excited! I wonder if they'll understand my Mary Catherine Gallagher costume. Probably not. I've always wanted to do Karen Walker from "Will & Grace" too but I have a feeling they'll just think I'm a whiny drunk.



Tons of overpasses everywhere



































In the same vein...tons of over-the-street walkways here. It's frustrating to try and figure out when the street's going to end and how to get up to the walkways. Sometimes it's the only way to cross the street. You can see the barricades there on the sidewalk. So you have to go into a big office building or mall and then find your way to the walkway. I will be very happy when I have this all figured out.






I know we've all seen funny Asian ads before but I couldn't resist putting a couple up. This one's my favorite so far.


"You're so dreeeeamy. I love you so much and I'm so attracted to you...but I...I...just can't stop eating this delicious ravioli with lobster and spinach."












I think these cute little guys are supposed to represent what you can get to eat at The Spaghetti House and I get three of them. Carrot, Tiramisu, soooomething that resembles a Christmas cupcake...and a slice of pizza. Apparently you're a little pig or cow whatever you eat. I've only seen ONE overweight Asian person since I've been here. ONE.








That's all for now. I'm going to meet my friend Cameron to watch my first rugby match. England vs. Australia. Supposed to be a big one!

HK Apartment!

I found a place! It's a 4th floor walkup but it's in a SUPER location. My new street is called Prince's Terrace... I love it!

Here are some pictures. I love the windows. When you look out them there's a small outdoor cafe and some galleries on the street below. And a pest control place across the street. Felt it was only fair to mention that.

























Standing in the kitchen looking into the living room

























Bathroom

























Bedroom
























From Living Room to Bedroom (I love the screen dividing the rooms)
























Kitchen
























Living Room

Apartment Hunting in HK

I have great apartment karma so I'm not too worried about finding a place. And I've never really had to look for an apartment because I've always heard about places from friends-of-friends so this is going to be an interesting process.

I have tons of agents looking for places for me. Yesterday I walked into this tiny, sweet Chinese woman's office and she showed me two apartments. Both were under 500 sq. ft. and both were under renovation. So there were concrete slabs, ladders, paint buckets, etc. everywhere. And she only had a key for one of them. So for one she said in her Chinese accent, "Look froo hole" and pointed to the hole where the doorknob was going to go.

I told her "thanks, but I need to keep looking."

Then there's this kid, Ridwan, who weighs no more than 80 lbs. that's helping me out. He's cool. He works for this guy that doesn't speak English and seems like an asshole. They dragged me all over town the other day and we're about to do it again today. Then I'm really excited to see an apartment on Gage Street which is the perfect location. Gage street is a traditional Chinese open market but it's still right next to the escalator and near all of my Western conveniences. And the guy that renovated the building used to live in SoHo in NYC and made the apartments feel like a SoHo loft with exposed brick, etc. I have a good feeling about that one.

Am supposed to find out from cousin today whether I'm going to be here for 10 months or 2 years. Am looking forward to finding out what the hell I'm doing.

Men Can Be Gross

Oh yeah. So I'm in the elevator of my hotel at 3am last night/this morning and there were two men in there. They chatted me up for a second. Fine. One gets off. The other one stays on. He tells me he's from Long Island and his name is Solomon. He reaches his floor and says, "Where are we meeting up tomorrow night?"

I hate it when men phrase a question like that. It's not a yes/no answer so you have to give them a longer one. I said, "I have plans." Then he wanted me to come to his room for a glass of wine. I said, "I'll see you around, Solomon, good night."

I felt like such a hooker. I didn't look like one though so why in the HELL would he think I would go back to his room. He was about 50 years old, fat, ugly, etc.

Some men can be so gross.

GREAT Day in Hong Kong!

I had such a great day yesterday! Went to the gym and had a good workout. Then went to IFC Mall (HUGE mall) and got my hair cut by Olivier. He did SUCH a great job. My hair was in desperate need of a haircut so I feel much better. And he costs the same as a haircut in the states so that's good.

I had one of those "life is crazy" moments as this Chinese kid was shampooing my hair. He had the gentlest hands. I thought, "Why am I in Hong Kong and some Chinese kid is washing my hair?" Haha...

So then I walked around town with a big fat smile on my face as my hair looked fabulous. Went up the escalator. It's not just any escalator. It's the longest escalator in the world. Over 2,600 ft. long. It's fabulous. It's SO hilly and humid here that they need it.

I had lunch at Staunton's which is a great place to people watch in Soho. The guy next to me struck up a conversation. His name is Jan (hee hee) and he grew up in Manhattan. Very cool. Not cute for dating but he's been here 2 1/2 years so he probably has some fun friends. We might hang out tonight.

Then I saw a couple apartments. This woman Alice showed them to me and she rocks. She's about 4'5", big bug eyes, sweats more than me, has a huge pot belly that hangs out of her shirt...but she immmeeeeeediately understood what type of apartment I want. Showed me a great one in a building called Prince's Terrace. It's now the apartment to beat. I'm going to see another one today and more on Monday and Tuesday.

For dinner I went back to Staunton's and was annoyed because the hostess seated me at a table behind a wall so I couldn't see anyone. So I pulled out my Economist magazine so as to look intelligent and ate dinner.

There were three people next to me and when I paid my bill they asked me to join them. They were SO much fun. An Aussie guy, a British guy and a Scottish girl. The Aussie and Scottish girl are dating. She's moving here in January. I'm going to make her be my friend because she really cool.

I had a couple drinks with them and then more of their friends came. Three Swedish people, Sara, Stefan and Tina. Sara and Stefan are brother and sister and Stefan is cute! He played hockey for a year at a college in Minnesota. Sara is going to include me in a weekly club called "The 5:01 Club". It's tons of people that get together for happy hour every Friday. They pick a new bar each week. She said they're a really fun group. And she's a really cool person so it should be great.

I was out until 3am. Oy. Now I'm going to grab something to eat and go see an apartment.

I love meeting people from all over the world. It's so interesting. And especially here they all have open and outgoing personalities because no one knows anyone when they move here so we're all in the same boat. And everyone wants to help out the new kid because it makes them feel good.

This is so much fun!

HK - so far, so good...

I arrived safely in HK this past Tuesday and have had a great time so far. I met with Mandy on Wednesday and the only things she needs me to help her with are:

1. Her Christmas List
2. Taking a picture of the family for the Christmas Card
3. Reading travel magazines to stay abreast of the best resorts, hotels, restaurants around the world
4. Helping her with travel coordination
5. Some personal finance stuff

That's it. I'll meet with my cousin, Randy, tomorrow to see what all he needs from me. I'll mostly be working for him. Which is great because my fear that I'd be scheduling Mandy's hair appointments is not coming true. Phew. We'll also work out when I'm moving here. Mandy and I agreed that it'll be easier for me to work for them if I'm in HK. Plus, the more I thought about it the more it'll be frustrating to contantly be going back and forth between NYC and HK. As soon as I feel settled in one place I'll be packing my bags to go to the other. I don't want to live like that. If I'm going to do it...I might as well just commit to HK.

Plus, Mandy has forwarded me links to a couple apartments and they....are...awesome! She's so cool. Understands that I don't want to live where they live - even though it's beautiful - because it's too residential and not near the single/ex-pat nightlife. One apartment building is geared towards men ages 25-45. Besides the obvious benefit of being surrounded by men the apartments have a smaller kitchen (fine), a 42" plasma TV (awesome), a walk-in closet (even better), a terrace with a grill (sweet!) AND a golf driving range and putting green on the roof (SOLD!).

Apparently, I'm a guy.

I've had Remi here which has been a blessing. Although, I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn't live here and will soon be gone and I'll have to make friends. Although, I do have Cameron (friend from LA) which is great. And Mandy's trainer, Joss, who's apparently a cool girl. Haven't met her yet.

And I have a couple other connections too. It's all good. Not worried.

The city is interesting. REALLY dense and hilly. More upscale shopping than any one person should have access to. Remi and I walked through 4 HUGE malls in about 30 minutes yesterday.

I don't really feel that far away. Probably helps that Remi and Cameron are here. But even though there are mostly Asians here there are enough "other people" so it just feels "international with a heavy Asian slant." It's so westernized I feel as though I'm in a different version of NY in a way.

And now for the real reason I'm going to move here...

The Scottish Oatcakes.

No? Haven't heard of them? I pity you.



They smell like shit but are OH SO DELICIOUS in my tummy. And apparently are "Orang-utan Friendly" as their free from Palm Oil.

Good to know.

Annoying Day

So I’m in line at Grey Dogs by myself getting ready to order some breakfast. I’m used to eating by myself. It rarely bothers me, but today…it bothered me.

It was late morning on a Sunday so the place was packed with couples who had just rolled out of bed after no doubt having had sex the night before. I told myself that my Saturday night with my vibrator and then a pillow behind my back was a pretty damn good temporary filler for a man [sigh]. The couple in line behind me were very much in love with each other. Which I think is great. I’m not one of those people that hates happy couples when I’m single. I’m truly happy for them.

But this particular couple was annoying the shit out of me. He would give her a big hug every 60 seconds and when he did he would say something sweet like, “You’re so beautiful” and then she would giggle and then the weight of him hugging her would force her arm to move just enough so that her big ass purse would hit me in the butt.

This happened over…and over…and over…and over again.

With every hit in the ass it was like I was being reminded…

[hit] “I’m single.”
[hit] “I’m single.”
[hit] “I’m single.”

I did the turn-around-and-give-a-annoyed-look move and she finally said “sorry” but proceeded to hit me another 12 times.

Then the host guy who helps you find a table asks me if I’m eating in. I confirm that indeed I am. He says, “Wellll, I’m going to have to put you at that table on the end over there. We don’t usually get singles in here.”

Now he had the best of intentions and was a really sweet guy…and I was feeling a bit sensitive after receiving a barrage of ass taps reminding me of my relationship status…but he shouldn’t have said that.

I wanted to cry but I sucked it up and said, “That’s fine. I’ll sit wherever.”

After ordering, I sat down and just stared at everyone in the place as I forgot to bring something to read.

It took way too long for the food to come out. But it finally did. And I reminded myself that I just happen to be single right now. It won’t be forever.

It’ll just feel like it.

I'm off!

Flying to Hong Kong tomorrow. Mixed feelings. This is a huge opportunity that most people would kill for and I am really excited about it. But I suppose it's the having to leave NYC and not knowing exactly what my job's going to entail that are the big negatives.

Regardless...I'm sure to have some great adventures ahead!

Here we go.......

Hong Kong...yay!

So I had an "I Love NY" day and was feeling bummed to leave it for Hong Kong and then I just got this email from a friend of a friend - a French banker/sailor guy - and I was all of a sudden in a better mood:

Hi Stacey,

Welcome to HK ! Chad had indeed given me a heads-up on your imminent
arrival and my mission here will be to help you settle in, feel at home
and take up residence :-p (I came here for a 12 month project
originally and have been here for 4 1/2 years now). As most of us have,
think you will love it if shown the "real" sides (that visitors usually
don't get to see).

Hong Kong? Eh...

I'm not that excited about Hong Kong. I know I should be but I'm just not. I think I was finally getting into a groove socially in NY and I really love the city so I'm sad I might have to leave it. It's one thing to say, "Suuuure, I'll move to Hong Kong and London" but it's a whole other thing to actually do it.

I'm only going for a month at first and am then coming back to NYC but I have a feeling I'll be moving to Hong Kong soon. I'm basing this on comments my cousin has made in emails about the situation.

It's all good and will be an amazing adventure but I suppose it's all just hitting me today. I LOVE the location of my apartment and will be really sad to give it up. Eh, hopefully I can return after all of this and afford my OWN apartment in the same location.

Maybe part of it too is that I don't want to actually have to....you know....work. Haha. I've been able to get paid to do nothing for the past 9 months and I've gotten used to it. Im such a lazy piece of crap.

I am looking forward to buying a digital SLR camera and taking some great pictures while I'm there. I need new inspiration. I feel like every part of New York has already been photographed 1,000 times.

The Weekend So Far - 9/8/07

God, I was so drunk last night. Got home at friggin' 5am. WHY oh WHY do I feel the need to check AND SEND emails when I'm wasted? And not just personal, but work emails too? Bad, bad, bad habit.

I had fun talking with this guy last night. At the beginning of the night he didn't seem to care at all who I was and that bugged the shit out of me so my goal was to win him over...which I did. Mission accomplished. Just tell me I can't do something or someone doesn't like me and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove you wrong.

I got my karaoke on so about 75 lucky New Yorkers' ears were filled with my amazing smooth-as-silk voice (which is non-existent today because it's apparently not a good idea to have 7 drinks and scream "Be With You" by Mr. Big at the top of your lungs).

I was at the US Open all day today. Gotta love getting 5 hours of drunk sleep...waking up with mascara all over your face and an empty package of swiss cheese on the floor by your bed (I need to hit the grocery store)...sitting in the hot sun all day in the fear-of-heights-inducing "S" row of the 300 section...while wanting to puke up everything you put into your body the night before.

Cheers. Good stuff.

I'm mean...seriously? I haven't learned this lesson yet? I swear to God.

It actually wasn't that bad but it was more fun to exaggerate. It's the Southern girl in me.

I'm playing tennis with my roommate tomorrow. I do this to myself every time I watch a Grand Slam tournament. The pros make it look so easy I think, "This time when I play I'm going to hit the ball really well because I just needed to see how it's done again to refresh my memory." I spend an hour trying to find the one tennis skirt I own so I look like I play all the time...walk onto the court with the confidence of Roger Federer...proceed to hit the ball everywhere except where it's supposed to go...get more and more pissed off at how much I suck...cuss like a sailor...walk off the court with less tennis balls than when I arrived as I most certainly hit one, two or - who am I kidding - all three balls over the fence (Recent reports indicate that some of my miss hits are about to re-enter the Earth's orbit and one from a few years ago was unfortunately just downgraded to the status of "dwarf planet" which was a bummer)...then try to convince myself it's okay that I can't play the way I used to...and go do something I'm still good at. Like, watch TV. Or, make toast.

So that's what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Tidbit from the Wedding

This weekend I was, yet again, a real life reflection of that really super fun phrase, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride" as I was a bridesmaid, yet again, in another wedding.

I'm always genuinely excited for these girls when they get engaged and ask me to be a special part of the ceremony. But soon after they tell me they're engaged and want me to be a bridesmaid my smile fades a bit and I proceed to go through some, if not all, of the following thoughts as they're telling me the story of how they got engaged:

"Awww, I'm so excited for her! She seems so happy!"
"When the fuck is it going to be my turn?"
"Whatever. I have a great life. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want."
"When was the last time I had sex?"
"I hope the bridesmaid dresses aren't A-line with a back zipper. I hate those. I have to hold in my gut the whole time."
"This is going to cost me a friggin' fortune. No vacation for me this year."
"I'm not the only single bridesmaid am I? Is there one that's at least bigger than me? I hate being the biggest bridesmaid."
"Will there be anyone to hook up with at the wedding?"
"If I have to suck on a penis straw I'm going to shoot myself."
"Alright, I won't shoot myself but I'll be really pissed."
"I gotta start working out."
"I'm in the mood for some ice cream."
"With sprinkles."

That all runs through my head in about 30 seconds. Then I say, "Your ring is GORRRRGEOUS!" I'm not lying or being insincere when I say that. They're all gorgeous. They're friggin' diamonds. You can't go wrong.

This particular wedding was in Middleburg, VA on Labor Day weekend. We had already gone to Montreal for the Formula 1 race as our bachelor/bachelorette party and incurred the expense of that trip. Now we had to fly to DC, rent a car, drive to Middleburg and get a hotel room for the wedding. I always bitch about the cost and logistical annoyance of these trips but in the end, once I'm there, I have a fabulous time.

Of course it's always more fabulous if there's a guy to hookup with at the wedding. I had met all of the groomsman in Montreal so I knew there were no potentials in that crew, but I was holding onto the minuscule hope that there'd be that one handsome, lonesome stranger that found my charm and hairsprayed up-do irresistible.

No such luck.

Oh, there was a lonesome guy there all right. But handsome he was not. He was about 5'3". Poor thing. He too was on the prowl for a wedding hookup and was hitting on me at the rehearsal dinner. Very flattering.......but no thank you. That night I joked about him with my friend who was sharing a hotel room with me (always lookin' for ways to cut the costs). Turns out she hooked up with him a couple times in the past and said he's weird. We joked about how big our bed is, how small he is and how funny the visual would be of this guy joining us.

Cut to the reception.

My friend that's sharing my hotel room is wasted and making out with Shorty McGee at a table in the back. Apparently he's not that weird. After the reception, I return to our hotel room and assume she went to his hotel to get her post-reception groove on. But oh no....she busts into the hotel room, hair looking like she was auditioning for the role of "Medusa," and giggles as she says:

Her: [whispering] "I'm gonna sleep with Joe."
Me: "That's great! You going over to his place?"
Her: [whispering] "No, here."
Me: ".........................Heh?"
Her: [whispering] "We won't do anything in the bed, I swear."

I tell her that this does not make me happy. Meanwhile Shortcake is pacing in the hallway, hands in his pocket, looking down with an "aw shucks" look on his face. I tell him to come in, it's fine. I'm still annoyed though but decide there's nothing I can do about it because I thought everyone was asleep and I have nowhere else to go. There are no cabs in this town, or street lights, so I can't kick the guy to the curb. He can't remember how to get to his hotel.

So there we are. The Happy Threesome. Me, Medusa and Sprout. So naive was I, the night before, as I joked about this exact scenario coming true.

Another bridesmaid knocks on the door, as she wants to return something she had borrowed earlier, sees all of us in the bed and with a what-the-hell-is-going-on-HERE tone asks, "Hey guys...what's......goin' ooooooon???"

I say, "Joe's spending the night! Isn't that fantastic?!"

Luckily, there were some other folks awake so I joined them downstairs in our Bed & Breakfast (in just a t-shirt that says "I [heart] Beer", by the way, as that's all I brought for PJ's) and one girl said I could sleep with her. She was the bastard child that got the tiniest room in the B&B that only had a pull out sofa. Thank God/Allah/Angelina Jolie for her. So instead of sleeping in my comfy, huge bed I was sharing a pull-out sofa while my friend gets it on with Pee Wee the Hook Up King.

At least she got some. If they had just passed out I would've been really pissed.

So I'm REALLY looking forward to my next wedding. It's in March. It's my sister's who's 8 years younger than me. And I'm her maid of honor. I can't wait for the convergence of free booze, my deep-seeded hatred of being single and a photographer capturing every goddamn moment for all time.

P.S. I just ate 2 chocolate bars and want to throw up.

Weekend update 9/4

Leigh's wedding was this weekend. Had a great time. Beautiful scenery. Free food and drink. Didn't get too drunk. No drama. Didn't flub my speech too badly. Caught up with some cool friends. Good stuff.

Leigh looked absolutely beautiful. Will post pictures as soon as I get them developed and get some from everyone who was there.

Everyone at work finally knows I'm leaving and a friend from high school is replacing me and was just officially hired 30 minutes ago. I feel so much better.

Now I get to sit back and wait a couple weeks for the next chapter of my life to begin. Very excited.

Hong Kong it is!