Perfect job

I miss working in an office that's bustling with energy where I have co-worker friends and we talk and bitch and stuff. And there's like...a project or something...and everyone is brainstorming and working hard to try and make it better. And I'm an important part of that team and my co-workers will ask questions like, "Stacey, what do you think?" and "Stacey, do you want to go to that same sandwich place for lunch today or do you wanna try something new?"

When I had jobs like this in the past I would find reasons why I hated them and wished I had a job where I hardly had to work and could work from home in my pajamas. Which is what I have now.

Why do I always want what I don't have??? What's the perfect job? Someone please tell me and I'll tweak my resume so it seems like I'm qualified for it.

I need a job where I'm autonomous but have an office to go to. But I don't have to go to the office unless I want/need to. Except sometimes there should be meetings so I have a sense of purpose and can feel like I'm a responsible part of a team and shit. I have to work hard but I like what I'm doing for the most part so that's okay. I like to work hard as long as there's a sense of accomplishment.

I shouldn't have to answers phones. At all. I get to boss at least 3 people around and they do all the piddly stuff I don't want to do and they think I'm fabulous. I should only have to answer to 1 person and he is hot and thinks I'm fabulous and gives me raises every 6 months.

My co-workers will be mostly straight men who flirt with me but who also respect my work. They have lots of single male friends that they'd like to set me up with. There are hardly any women in the office so there's no catty bullshit I have to deal with. The women that do work there aren't as cute as me.

I should get paid every 2 weeks. Not the 15th and last day of the month but every 2 weeks so I get a couple months out of the year where it happens that I get 3 paychecks because of the way the dates work out.

I should be able to wear whatever I want when I do decide to grace the office with my presence but everyone I work with is pretty fashion conscience so it inspires me to dress nicely.

This job should be impressive or at least mildly interesting to most people when I tell them what I do for a living. It should pay me at least $75k per year.

And there should be a nap room at the office in case I need a little rest.

Any ideas?