Joyce The Philippino Bitch

I was reading "Human Smoke: The Beginnings of World War II, the End of Civilization" on Friday night (What? Yes huh, I WAS!) when I received a call from Cameron wondering if I'd want to meet he and his date out after their dinner. Some other people were likely to join. I thought, "Winston Churchill quotes.......or alcohoooooolllll?"

The promise of a sweet glass of Pinot Grigio and possible flirting with new men was enough to get my rear off the couch and into the shower.

Met them at the first bar which was packed as hell. Cameron was one of many western guy/asian girl couples. Joyce, a Philippino chick (not Cameron's date), started chatting me up. She was a close talker. She would only stare at my nose when she spoke. She had a thick accent. She was annoying.

She learned that I'd be moving to London in July. Her boyfriend has a house there with a spare room. She grabbed my waist and insisted I stay with them so she could show me around town. Reiterated this at least six times while groping a different part of my body each time.

On the way to the second bar she grabs her boyfriend (different body part than mine), points to me and says, "She's going to stay with us in London!" He gives me a "Okaaaayyyy" look.

At the second bar he started chatting with me in order to get to know this strange person who's apparently going to be residing in his spare bedroom. Everyone gets drinks and Joyce is the last one to get hers. Her boyfriend turns to give it to her (it's a beautiful raspberry concoction) and she proceeds to smack it out of his hand and all over ME!

I realized she's a total child and not someone I would ever want to spend time with in London or anywhere else (I learned later that she was mad because he wasn't paying attention to her. And I'M the single one?). But what REALLY pissed me off was that she never looked at me again. Never apologized.

B.I.T.C.H.

Joyce The Bitch is lucky I wasn't wearing something expensive or I would've gotten in her face. Instead, I decided ignoring her would be the best option. Poor Cameron felt really bad and kept apologizing. They all went to meet other friends of theirs at another bar. I remained behind.

I would've gone home since I was now all by myself but I needed one more drink after that debacle and the bartender at this bar, Yun Fu is the #1 bartender is Asia. He makes the most AMAZING drinks! I had one with mango and coffee that was so good (I know...weird combo but trust me). Here's the one he made after Joyce The Bitch left: