Million Dollar Idea

I have another Million Dollar Idea.

It's a little extreme as it's a new torture device. But it's genius. It'll totally work.

Have the terrorists/bad guys/etc sit on a couch and let them watch TV.

You: "Huh?"
Me: "Hear me out."

Only let them watch the E! Channel.

24 hours a day. 7 days a week. That's all they're allowed to watch.

I guarantee you they won't last longer than a week and will confess everything... and then some.

I'm about to lose my mind. I only have 3 channels. HBO, Star World and E!.

The HBO channel sucks because it never plays any movies I've (1) heard of or (b) would want to watch.

Star World shows re-runs of Seinfeld, Ellen and Seinfeld. Oh, and Ellen. And eeeeevery once in awhile they'll throw some Seinfeld in there to mix things up.

Then there's the E! Channel. Right now I'm watching a show ranking different showbiz divas and they were talking about Barbra Streisand.

Fine.

But the only celebrity opinion on Barbra they featured was from....Daisy Fuentes.

?????

And the only celebrity they could get to do a talking head piece commenting on how hot each of the divas are is....Lorenzo Lamas.

I can't take it anymore. The only thing that's keeping me going is that I get to see Kim Kardashian cry Tuesday night because some photographer is threatening to go public with some some naughty photos of she and her sister. She totally crys and says, "I don't want to go THROUGH this agaaaaaaain!"

Then stop doing stupid slutty things if you want to be famous, Kim.

And then her sister, Kourtney (with a K) says, "I never thought anyone would see them."

O. M. G.

This is the only thing that's keeping me going at this point. That, and the fact that I just had a really good drink and it's now "my drink". Vodka, cranberry and champagne. Try it. It might make you write angry things about people and television networks but it tastes really awesome. And who knows. You might come up with your own Million Dollar Idea.