Got An Interview!

The producer chick just called and I'm meeting her in person on Thursday of next week. I'm so excited!

Although, it's going to be a FIGHT to get this job. She's really looking for someone that has more of a news journalism background...not entertainment. So I'm going to have to convince her that I can do that job. I hate interviews like this. I'm used to strolling in pretty much knowing it's my job to lose.

But I'm going to do my best.

And then I'll have Paul call and sell the hell out of me.

CNN job - latest

A producer for "CNN Presents" just emailed me saying that she got my resume and said I could feel free to call her regarding the job. So I've left her a message and am anxiously awaiting a return call.

I'm feeling this....

My mom

She's so funny. She's obsessed with me hanging out with this Chase Roth guy while I'm home. She just told me to "bring home my cutest clothes...and my sexiest clothes."

Woo Hoo!

I already received an email from my CBS Executive friend. The freakin' President of CNN is forwarding my resume to the VP of Documentary Series (formerly the Senior Exec. Prod. for "CNN Presents")!!!!!!!

The President said, "I dig her desire. It counts for a lot."

It doesn't get better than that!

I'm SO not going to be able to sleep tonight.

Atlanta job

Cross your fingers people!

I just got in touch with a former CBS Executive that I know through Paul. He's the nicest guy. He helped me out a lot when I moved to NYC and was looking for a job.

I emailed him about the job in Atlanta with CNN and he is friends with the President of CNN and just had lunch with him last week. The President is a little higher up than I was aiming as I'm sure that guy could care less about little ol' me...BUT Mitch said he'd forward my resume to the guy (who he said was really cool) and ask him how I can get separated from the pack.

That's the best connection I've come up with so far (thanks to everyone that's helped so far).

Cross your toes too.

Weekend update 6/24

Friday night I went out with a girl named Jenn. She's my friend Ramin's sister. She's pretty cool. I met her at Washington Square Park where there was a jam session going on. Seth Green was playing one of the guitars. Random but funny. I was the only one that knew who he was thanks to my casting days.

We went to a bar afterwards and were constantly hit on by a barrage of dorks that were out for a bachelor party. One of them wouldn't leave me alone until I helped him name his friends two pit bulls that he just bought. He wanted to name them after 80's hip hop groups. So annoying.

I couldn't sleep Friday night and didn't go to bed until the sun came up. So I slept until 1:15pm. A lot on my mind...

Saturday night I went out with my friend Jeannie and another girl. Very cool place called Revel in the meatpacking district. Used to be called The Bar With No Name. It reminded me of an Atlanta bar. No velvet rope. You didn't have to wait in line. Cool big patio out back. It was packed which tells me that New York is seriously lacking in cool places like that.

Sunday I slept late again. Watched Pulp Fiction. Went to Central Park for a walk and then walked home from the park. I needed the exercise because I've been eating a LOT lately.

The reason I can't sleep is that I'm obsessed with the idea of this new job I heard about. Associate Producer at CNN Presents. It's in Atlanta. And the more I think about it the more I want it. It's a PERFECT job for me!!! And I feel ready to get back home. I don't like my job in NY. I want to work in TV and the only jobs in NY are at MTV, Bravo or Fuse and I could care less about that crap. It would be AMAZING to work at CNN producing a documentary series about what's really going on in the world. And it's a STABLE job in TV. Not the futile process of trying to get pilots on the air.

I'm tired of being so far away from my family and good friends. My friends are either in LA or Atlanta. I'm tired of living one paycheck away from the streets. I'm tired of trying to create a life for myself in a huge city. I'm tired of how crowded it is. I want more space.

So I'm trying my best to find an "in" at CNN through my friends. So far I've only had a girl at the Cartoon Network refer me internally. Jeannie knows a producer at CNN Headline News so she's going to email him tomorrow. Hopefully he'll help me too.

As I was walking in Central Park today I came around the corner and looked up and saw a huge CNN billboard in front of me. Put a smile on my face. I was like, "HIRE ME!" I guess if I find an "in" and get a call for an interview then it's a sign.

We'll see...

Chase Roth

I booked a flight home for the July 4th holiday and am so excited to get a hug from my parents and to see some good friends!

Also......there's a guy named Chase Roth that I've had a crush on since 1st grade and my mom and all the other mom's in the neighborhood I grew up in have always wanted us to get together.

He was married but got divorced. My mom decided that now's "our chance". So she did her manipulative thing and scored his email address for me.

He emailed me back all excited to see me so I have a date with him when I go home.

Woo hoo!

I'm so excited! He's cuter than Dave and more fun to hang out with and actually laughs at my jokes. Will be such a great ego boost to see him.

All the Marietta moms are buzzing now. It's hysterical. "Maybe SOMETHING will happen FINALLY between Chase and Stacey! We're SO excited!"

I felt SO MUCH better when I got Chase's email. It was exactly what I needed to put me over the edge into the "I'm over Dave" category.

I love life.......

Update coming soon!

I've fallen behind in my blogging because Dave and I broke up and I haven't had the energy to type about it . Or rather...he broke up with me. Forgot to call me to tell me about it though. And he signed up for match.com again with a new picture and everything. Forgot to break up with me first. Oh and he stood me up...then didn't call...then forgot to break up with me.

So I've had a shitty week. But I'm back on match.com too and was able to tell him off in a very succinct but effective way. Here was my email to him through match.com (so he knows I'm immediately back on there too and he didn't break me):

Dave,

Since you're not going to be man enough to pick up the phone and call and instead have gone back on match.com let me just help you out. We're obviously done.

You're a coward and a prick.
Stacey

I was going to end things with him in the next month or so anyway because I wasn't happy. After two weekends of weddings and being around fun people I realized I needed to end it. But I would've done it to his face. After 4 months it's the respectful thing to do.

No more crying. He doesn't deserve it. You think you know someone...

I'm putting myself right back out there again to help get over it sooner. Might have a cocktail date tonight, in fact.

WHY ARE MEN SUCH PUSSIES WHEN IT COMES TO BREAKING UP????

Blogkakke

My boss emailed us today saying that the blog section of the website I work for needs a new title because the current one isn't cutting it.

He emailed us some suggested replacements and one was:

Blogkakke

I was told this is a play on the word Bukakke which, according to Wikipedia, is defined as:

Bukkake is a group sex practice that features a woman (or man) being ejaculated on by multiple men.

This is apparently funny to my boss in LA.

Please for the love of everything that is holy do not make me tell people I'm the editor of a Blogkakke.

Rain!

Yesterday I brought my cell phone with me while I was walking along the West Side Hwy because I wanted to chat with my sister and/or mom to help the exercise go by faster. I'm getting tired of "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake to get me going.

I'm about 2/3rds finished with my walk, on the phone with Kathryn and it starts pouring rain. Thunder, lightning. Awesome. I hang up with Kathryn and stick my cell phone in my spandex shorts in a lame attempt to keep it dry. Which means I can't run or the phone will slip out from underneath the spandex.

So I try running while holding the phone on my thigh. That was a pain in the ass so I changed course and decided to walk the mile home. It was POURING. I'm the only idiot out there that LOVED it! I really missed weather while living in LA. I was laughing all the way home.

My shoes still haven't dried but I don't care. It was a great NY moment.

Montreal/Formula One

Had fun in Montreal for Leigh's bachelorette party. We combined it with Geoff's bachelor party so there were 15 people there. A larger group than I would normally want to travel with but we separated a different points. I got to do everything I wanted. Shop, walk around Old Montreal, eat well, go to the car race, catch up with Leigh, get to know Geoff better.

Good stuff.

I'm so exhausted too. I told myself that the past three weeks of gluttony would end yesterday. Then I get a text from my friend Bernadette saying she's in town and wants to take me to dinner.

How can I turn down that offer?

So I choose Artisanal and we ate too much cheese and drank too much wine. Tonight Dave and I are getting dinner and will no doubt split a bottle of wine.

Let the gluttony continue...

Matt & Michelle's wedding

SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!

I had the best time. Took a train to Boston Friday afternoon. Remi and Carrie were napping so I walked around downtown Boston. I love exploring new cities.

Then we went to the rehearsal dinner. It was so good to see everyone. The decorations were so cute. Sailor type theme. I've never heard funnier speeches at a rehearsal dinner in my life. My mouth hurt from smiling so much. A lot of love in that room. They sat Remi, Carrie & I at a table with 4 old people. We laughed when we saw our tablemates but they were pretty cool actually. The sassy old people types.

We went to the hotel's bar afterwards to hang out. I only had a glass or two of wine that night. Was still in detox from Memorial Day weekend.

Saturday we woke up late and had just enough time to get ready for the wedding. I was so excited to wear my dress because I bought it months ago and had been dyyyyying to wear it. It was a hit. I love that.

Wedding was nice. Church was beautiful. But hot. I was doing the "I do declare..." thing while fanning myself with the brochere. I'm such a sweater. It's gross.

Reception was a lot of fun. We had a great table. The entire room was lined with windows overlooking the water. Beautiful. Lee Kirk sat next to me. CUTIE!!!!! I had a crush on him when I first met him in LA but of course he had a blonde, skinny girlfriend at the time. So I move to NY and now....he's single. Typical. I was thinking that if the stars aligned (read: I had the right amount of booze and the opportunity) that making out with him wouldn't necessaaaaaaaarily be cheating on Dave. We were getting along great. He was laughing at my jokes. But the more the night went on I realized that I would feel really guilty and I think he JUST ended his thing with the ex-girlfriend and was in no mindset for fun.

Just as well.

Michelle's dad is a firefighter so there were some of his guys at the reception. It was fun to talk with some of them. They're just real guys. Solid. Some of the firefighters got on their boat and did a water spraying type salute for Matt and Michelle. That was such a cool sign of respect for them and her father. Really special.

I was good not to get wasted. Had a good buzz going the whole time. We closed down the bar and hung out in the groom's brother's room for awhile. I was doing my "don't go to sleep" nazi thing. Then got tired myself. I had my Southern thang going on. I'm sure it was getting obnoxious. I needed to be slapped in the face and put to sleep.

Remi, Carrie and I hung out with one of Matt's co-workers the whole weekend. He looks like Michael J. Fox and was really fun to hang out with. We tried to get him to stay in our room Saturday night instead of driving to his parent's house because he had been drinking. He left after we went to sleep. Bastard. We're three random women he met at a wedding. We deserved to be treated better than that! At least a note! Something.

Matt & Michelle provided a much-needed breakfast the next morning. Then I got on the train and came home.

Now I have to get ready for work.

Ugh.

And gather some energy this week for the big Montreal trip this weekend. I'm going to be SO GODDAMN TIRED this time next week. Pray for me. After praying for the kids in Darfur of course.

Memorial Day weekend

This is a belated post. I was so exhausted from Memorial Day weekend that I couldn't bring myself to type up a post.

And now that it's so far after-the-fact I'll make it shorter than I normally would have.

Friday night we had dinner in the city with Pete & Crisi. It was just an OK evening. Conversation wasn't really flowing for some reason. Went to The Park in Chelsea and the service was horrible. Dave and Pete had started drinking that day at 4pm and when I met up with them to go to dinner Dave's eyes were SO bloodshot. High as a kite. Which I don't care about but it just was a signal to me that I probably wasn't gettin' any that night.

Crisi and I joked about that when we were getting after dinner drinks (WHY do I think it's a good idea to slam 2 mojitos after dinner? Why is this necessary?). She wanted to go home to increase her chances of getting laid and I said, "Tell me about it. I dressed extra cute to try and balance out the alcohol & pot in Dave's system."

We both got screwed that night. And not in the good way.

Saturday I barely made my train to CT. Pete, Crisi and I met Dave in Norwalk, CT where Pete, Dave and a bunch of his friends grew up. We BBQ'd at Tim's place. His wife was out of town so it was the 5 of us. Started drinking around 4pm I think and we were up until 4am. I was so tired but I had to stay up with Dave because he had a friend/worker of his to entertain.

Dave and I stayed at Pete's parents house in a room with two twin beds and a crib. Awesome. So we had sex in the twin bed (it was pretty good actually) and then separated to sleep. Nice set up. I think they had it right in the "Leave It To Beaver" days.

Sunday morning we grabbed brunch with Pete/Crisi...they went back to the city. We cleaned Tim's house and then went to the Sunset Grill (place on the water). But before that Dave and Tim drove me around Norwalk and I got to see the house Dave grew up in. AMAZING. Victorian house from the late 1800's. White. Huge front porch. 400 ft. of waterfront property. Truly beautiful. I can't believe he grew up there.

So we sat at Sunset Grill for about 12 hours drinking in the sun. I slammed back WAY too much alcohol and got nasty drunk. Where I get all dramatic and crying over something stupid. I HATE when I get like that. I'm a bad drunk. But we still had fun.

Dave and I had to sleep on Tim's couch. Ugh.

I couldn't even speak in the morning. Dave drove us back to his place and I crashed on his bed for a few hours and then we sat around all day watching TV. He drove me back the next day around noon.

LONG ASS weekend but overall it was a lot of fun. I was sick the whole next week though. My body was wrecked. Three days in a row of heavy drinking = not good. No more.

Good Day

For two reasons:

1. Dave texted me last night, "Leaving Yankee Game. Thinking of You." Not a big deal to most people but it's poignant because I had directly asked him to do this sometimes a couple weeks ago and he actually listened and is trying. It means a lot to me.

2. I just bought US OPEN tickets!!!!!!!!! I started playing tennis when I was in 2nd grade or something like that...basically have been playing my whole life and it's been my DREAM to attend all of the grand slam tournaments. The US OPEN!!! So excited!!! I got tickets for the Men's Semifinal and the Women's Final. All in one day. Will be a LOOOOONG day but will be so much fun!!!

Great Weekend

Friday night I went out with Jeannie. We've been trying to go out and get to know each other for months now. We went to a couple places and had a few drinks and good conversation. I want her to be my new friend :) She's great (Thanks, Jess if you're reading this).

Saturday I slept ridiculously late then went to see "Waitress" which I thought was cute. Then on my street there was a great flea market. I love my neighborhood! There was some really good jewelry. I was good and only bought $10 in bracelets.

Dave came over later and we went to Snack for dinner and had a great meal. He looked so cute in this thin, yellow sweater. When he smiles I just melt because he has those perfect crow's feet. Love it.

So good conversation at dinner and then we went to our tapas/wine bar, Ostia, for some more wine. I drank one extra glass than I should have. He's a bad influence on me. Then we came back to my place and had good sex. He didn't have to work on the deck during the day so he had some energy :)

Also, Dave mentioned that the Monday after Mother's Day his dad came into work and said, "So, what does Stacey do for a living?" Dave said, "What? You didn't ask her?" His dad said, "No, I didn't want to be nosy." So then Dave's mom came into the city on Wednesday and did the same thing. Asked Dave, "So where's Stacey from?" Dave said, "Why don't you ask her the next time you see her." His mom said, "Well, I didn't want to be nosy." I feel SO MUCH BETTER about his parents!!! They're on the one extreme end of almost being rude in their effort to not be "nosy" whereas MY mom is on the other end of the spectrum and is almost rude by how many questions she DOES ask. Anyway...glad they're actually interested in who I am.

This morning Dave and I went to Bubby's. Love that place. Although Dave said, "Let's go to Googie's." I said, "Huh. Never heard of it." Then we walk to Tribeca and I see Bubby's and I say, "I love that place" and he got the cute, confused look on his face that he gets when he's...well...confused and said, "Oh! That's where we're going." I love that he has airhead moments. Makes me feel okay about mine.

After breakfast we walked around SoHo and then he dropped me off because he had to go to work. It was a perfect date.

I took a nap and then went to Central Park to take some pictures. It's tough to find a creative way to take pictures of Bethesda Fountain but I think I did it. Then I sat in the grass and called my mom and spoke with her for awhile. Then I bought a hot dog and by the time I got to the next cart I was already done eating it so I bought an Oreo ice cream popsicle. Yummmmmyyyy....

I decided to walk all the way home to walk off the food and it started raining right at the Empire State Building. So I waiting it out underneath the awning and then made it home. I love walking home down 5th Avenue from the park. It's such a fun walk.

I love this city!!!

Met the parents

I met Dave's parents this past weekend. He had invited me during the week but wasn't sure if he was going to be able to go because of work. Then mid-day Saturday he said he was definitely going up and "I was welcome to come."

I HATE that phrase! Do you want me to come or not? I just ignored it and said I'd like to come. So I had about 30 minutes to get myself ready and packed because we were going to his friend Mike's in Connecticut for his 35th birthday BBQ and I was going to spend the night at Dave's and then we were driving up to his parents house the next day.

Saturday night was fun. I had never been to CT. So now I have. Dave and I got too drunk and spent the night there. No sex of course. I need to have a talk with him about that at some point. I know he needs the release from his stressful job/life but every once in awhile I need him to scale down a couple drinks so we can actually BE together.

An ex-girlfriend of his was there (Mike didn't give him a head's up so he didn't know she was going to be there) and she was cuter, skinnier and tanner than me. I didn't know that she and Dave used to date and I remember meeting her and thinking, "Ugh, she's cuter, skinnier and tanner than me." I always size myself up to every other girl whenever I go out. So of course Dave used to date her, but whatever. He said she's a pill popper so that made me feel better :) And they weren't serious or anything. And it then made sense why she was kind of cold to me when I first met her. Of course 5 glasses of sangria took care of that and she finally talked to me at the end of the night.

Dave woke me up at 7am and said, "Let's go! We can drive up to my parents and have breakfast." I was like, "Ummmm, I thought we were having dinner there?" I was hungover and tired but pushed through.

On the way up there Dave was chatting and not paying attention and passed the exit he needed. Instead of doing what most people do which is TURN AROUND...he decided to keep going because "there's gotta be a cut across at some point."

Weeeellllll, there's not. At one point he saw the Catskills off to the left and said, "That's not good" because that's where we were supposed to be. We ended up in friggin' Albany. At one point we saw a sign for Montreal. I said, "Babe, I didn't bring my passport." So a 2 1/2 hour drive became a 4 hour drive. We were cracking up.

So we had lunch at this cute place that's next to a small creek. Then we FINALLY arrive at his parent's house. We left at 9:30am and got there at about 2:30pm.

They live in a dreeeeam house in the Catskills. 2 ponds in the front with geese. Huge log cabin style house. Grandma lives in the guest house. They have the biggest stone fireplace I've ever seen. Amazing.

His dad greeted us and he's so sweet! Then we walk into the house and it's reeeeeally quiet. His brother is sleeping on the couch in the lap of some girl that Dave's never met before. So that was strange. We were like, "Who's she?" His mom greeted me and then went back to her chair to watch that stupid Ben Stiller museum movie.

And that was it. Dave's dad talked with me a little bit but not in the "let me get to know this girl that Dave brought to the house" way but rather in a small talk way. I asked him about the house aaaaand that was about it.

After awhile Dave and I went to meet his grandma and give her the flowers he bought for her. Then we walked around the pond and went back in the house.

No one was watching TV and Real Time with Bill Maher came on and Arianna was a panelist. So I sat down and Dave's mom came in the room and said, "I HATE that woman!" I replied sarcastically, "That's my boss." She said, "You're kidding!" and laughed and walked off.

I was expecting SOME sort of follow up question like, "Oh, you work for her? What do you do?" But NO. NOTHING. I thought that was so strange.

We had a really nice meal at a restaurant called The Phoenix. Conversation was more of the same. We had a 10-minute discussion about what spice was in the rolls. No one could figure it out.

"Is it nutmeg?"
"It could be tumeric."
"No, it's not tumeric."
"Allspice?"
"That's cheating."
"I think it's nutmeg."
"Let's ask the waiter."

The whole experience was very informative. I'm so used to my mom who's been compared to a CIA investigator when she meets people. Especially if it's someone her kids bring over for a special dinner. Dave said that it's not because they're not interested but it's because they know that if they start grilling me Dave will throw his hands up and say, "Hey...knock it off!" But still.....not ONE question?

It helped me understand Dave a lot more which will help us in our communications. I hope. Not that it won't still be frustrating when he doesn't respond to something I say but I feel much more comfortable around him now which is huge. We had 6 hours in the car together.

I finally got to see his place this weekend too. It's a tiny house but it's right on the water. SO relaxing. It has a lot of potential. He just has to find the time to carry out his plans for it.

Still haven't had sex with him. It's been 2 weeks & 5 days. Not that I'm counting or anything....

We're making plans for Memorial Day weekend. If the weather holds up we're going to Block Island and staying at an inn and hanging out at Aaron and Beth's house there. That'll be fun! If the weather sucks then we'll just cook out at Dave's place and maybe head to CT again to BBQ with Tim and Dina. Either way I'm looking forward to it. I'll be out of town the 2 weekends after that so it'll be good to have an entire weekend with him.

We're hanging out tomorrow night. Pray for me that I get laid. Probably won't be on the top of your higher power's "to do" list but I gotta at least get in the cue.

This Weekend

I feel good about my new attitude regarding Dave. I want to take a step back and not take "us" so seriously.

Well, then last night he invited me to his parents' place in upstate NY on Sunday for Mother's Day to meet them.

We might not go - all depends on his work schedule - but it's SO HARD for me to keep a casual mindset with him when I'm meeting the parents. I take that seriously. And I assume he doesn't drive every girl he dates 2 1/2 hours up there to meet them. So that action says to me that he sees potential in "us" so all of the bullshit re: him is worth it.

I worked from home today but didn't have much to do. Which meant I ate too much food. Ugh. Am going for margaritas with some people from work tonight. Could be trouble...

The Talk

Dave and I talked Monday night and I don't really feel any better or any worse. Just eh....

I still have absolutely no idea how he feels about me but after reflecting back I didn't really ask him so that's only fair.

He said that he's in no rush to settle down but he's open to it down the road. That's fine with me. But his schedule is never going to change so I only get him about 2 times a week at the most and at least one - if not both times - he's too tired for sex.

The other issue is that I might be a little too sensitive for his harsher communication style. He's got that tough-northern-I-was-in-the-Navy type style and I need a little more coddling than that gives. He never talks about how he feels. Hardly ever compliments me. I just need a little more in that area.

Monday night I said that it would mean the world to me if he could tack an "I miss you" at the end of a text message or an email sometimes and he just stared at me with a grin on his face. I was like, "Ummmmmm, do you think I'm an idiot for asking that or are you thinking this is cute?" So I said, "Okay...moving on."

I'm like...GIVE ME SOMETHING!

My attitude right now is to just go with it for awhile longer. Have fun this spring/summer with him and reevaluate in a couple of months. If he's not excited about me by then then I think that's a sign I need to move on.

So I guess I do feel better now that I have a plan. And I'm also keeping my options open. If I meet a great guy out I might go for an innocent coffee. Can't close the door on anything right now.

Weekend update 5/7

My girls were in town! Got to see R&C Friday night at Alta for a group birthday dinner for R. Had a good time seeing them and getting to know some of their NY friends. Dave busted his ass to get there which meant a lot. And dragged his brother upstairs to meet me which also made me feel good.

Saturday I did brunch and shopping in the West Village with R&C. PERFECT NY Spring Day! Then I went running along the West Side Hwy which felt great. I don't run that much anymore because of my knees but I have to bust out every once in awhile. Elliptigirlies gets so boring.

Saturday night Dave and I were supposed to "talk" and then meet up with R&C. I put myself through fucking HELL because he never freakin' called me back. I met up with R&C and two other girls and had a couple drinks. I so needed that "laugh with the girls" time but I was still preoccupied with why Dave hadn't called me. He never does that.

Sunday around noon he finally calls and says, "Hey...I hung out with my mom and brother and sister last night. How are you?" I was like, "Huh?" Apparently there was a huge miscommunication and he thought we were supposed to have brunch on Sunday because I was hanging out with my friends Saturday night. I told him exactly what I had said Saturday morning and he realized that he fucked up.

So it was all a misunderstanding but my GOD that boy put me through hell that night. I was reeling and overanalyzing. I swear. So then we were supposed to hang out Sunday night and he ended up getting too tired from deck-building so now we're hanging out tonight (Monday).

I can't wait until that damn deck is finished. It's seriously cutting into my sex life.

I had a great conversation with both my sister and dad last night re: relationship stuff. I feel much better about letting Dave know how I feel about a couple of things now. That, along with R&C's support Saturday night, have me rearing to go!

Beta launch for the site is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED! I think this damn thing is actually going to happen!!!!!!!!

Up and Down

I blew up at Dave last night. I don't get enough sex. It's like we've been married 15 years and I'm the man wanting to have more sex. I've been needing to talk with him about where we stand and there never seems to be a good time to bring it up. So my frustration builds up and comes out at the wrong time. I gotta work on that.

I think we'll be fine I just need to verbally hear him say that he sees potential in us and is either falling for me or could see that happening so I'm not putting myself through the bullshit of his complicated life for nothing.

He got to meet two of my girlfriends from LA last night and I was on SUCH a high after that. He even commented on it. But the night went longer than we anticipated and we didn't get home until 12:30am. He had been up since 4:30am. This was the 3rd date in a row where we weren't going to be together. This is so hard for me. Maybe I'm being a brat but I'm falling for this guy and want to be with him. And it's almost worse when he's in bed with me but asleep. So close, yet......

What I love is after I was done yelling at him last night he shushed me and I said, "Don't shush me. It pisses me off" and then he attacked me and we had sex. And it was quick but hot. It was his way of saying, "This is frustrating for me too." I needed to "hear" that one way or another.

How are we supposed to build a relationship together if he's too fuckin' tired all the time? He busts his ass to see me twice a week so I know his heart's into it.

I guess I'll just have to decide if I can deal with the whole package that is "Dave".

And right now I want to.